I'm a socially inept person. I couldn't bring myself to any woman and start a conversation unless under 2 conditions: 1) it's about work, 2) i'm deeply in shit and need helps very badly.
Which brings to a point that, I hardly socialize. I socialize with myself most of the time or with my close friends which most of them are male species. At times, I think I'm a wonderful person and able to charm my way into people heart at times but my insecurities stops me from using it.
I found I'm always in awe seeing how people easily sparking up conversation with opposite gender not to mention; a complete stranger. They just could talk and the opposite gender just respond. Sometimes I found myself too much analyzing things and saying incomprehensible things like how weather changes and global warming just mere statistic - a conspiracy theory; not the kind of topic you would discuss over walking to the office or in the elevator, right?
Then I would just smiling like an idiot and that's it. I couldn't conjure conversation out of thin air like most people do, I'm not comfortable with stranger and I'm definitely the guy who try to avoid meeting casual friends in crowded place so I don't have to say hi to them.
I found that distinct lack of conversation skills affect me in most ways on how I convey my feeling to others. I would just sit back and let things gone by even if I can make amend to it, I would keep it buried inside me and just keep it to myself until the end of time.
But if people ask me being honest, I would be almost complete honest if they're close to me. And most of them offended by what I have to say about them.
Hrmmm...I wonder what's wrong with me. Did I do alright? Did I thinking too much? Did I?
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
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9 comments:
Less talk means a good listener.. At some point, people just don't understand that action speaks louder than words..
people less appreciative over things they couldn't understand.
you think too much bro.
you are who you are
salam mangifera.
i believe that our problem is more or less the same, nonetheless, we are on the same boat. i find that being in a conversational situation is one terrifying ordeal.
perhaps, it is because of my true nature that i don't talk that much. thus, i prefer to listen than to talk.
secondly, i have this tendency of thinking too much. that is, i am afraid i might say the wrong things.
and thirdly, shyness and lack of confidence do contribute to this problem of mine. hence, less talk means less problems.
"I couldn't conjure conversation out of thin air like most people do, I'm not comfortable with stranger and I'm definitely the guy who try to avoid meeting casual friends in crowded place so I don't have to say hi to them."
i face the similar situation too. in order to overcome the problem, i 'force' myself to open this heavy mouth of mine, regardless i am in my comfort zone full of close friends or in the discomfort zone fill with strangers.
small talk isn't meant to be brilliant. therefore, i usually begin the conversation with the usual cliches like, "How are you?" , "It's such a beautiful day today, isn't it?" and "What's up?"
it is up to us to conjure up the topic so as to maintain a free-flowing conversation. to do this, open-ended questions are highly recommended because questions begin with 'why', 'tell me about', 'what' etc encourage the other person to provide longer answers.
oh. i think i have taken too much space of this comment box. sorry for the lengthy comment. some of the 'tips' above are taken from The Star article (in Thoughts section) and i have tried them and alhamdulillah, it works on me.
i wish you all the possible good luck in this world and all the best to you.
salam.
alone is sincere
The author of duengmangifera.blogspot.com has written an excellent article. You have made your point and there is not much to argue about. It is like the following universal truth that you can not argue with: Government workers and transit employees move very slowly Thanks for the info.
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aku rasa ko dah ok per....byk jek ckp...hahaha...ok dah lah weh :)
maybe u think too much. like i did too.
but then again bro, that is who u r.nobody can tell u it is wrong to do the things u do bec this is ur life.
i have learned to ignore the fact that i have no best friend.soem claimed that they are my frens but when i asked them for help, they religiously refuse.
so bro,life is hard. u and i know that. there is nothing we can do about it.
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