I Wish I Had Met You Earlier

"I wish I had met you earlier before all these experience ruined you. I want to see the old you."

These had been said by her. She read my blog old entry and she felt that I had changed alot thru my life experience. It just fair to be said that I changed for past years whether I like to admit it or not. In most significant way, I couldn't be the one that I was before - for better or for worse; cause I learned my lesson. I value each experience and indulge into it. I want to be different at that moment. I want to heal the pain. I do as what I deemed fit best; being tough emotionally.

She said, she want to see the soft of me, not the I-don't-care-much, tough of me. I have to admit that I lost the soft side of me long time ago, life experience toughen me up and she has to deal with it. Not that she's couldn't patient with my character now but to see a me whom she never see before would be the most wonderful gift she could get. Painfully, I also want the same thing. I want to get hold the old me. The one whom naive, the one whom love so hard make me cry so hard when love gone, the one whom so caring, the one whom worried so much, the one whom get jealous even by smallest thing.

I want to be vulnerable again. I want to be emotional again. I want to be jealous again. I want to be worried so much again.

I want that.

And I want to try to get it. I want to believe. Help me believe in this.

Though, she love me not even a bit less.