Just because you're a woman

....don't you think i can't smack you!

Today, i'm pissed off. I mean, mad, angry. For some collaborative business trip that i will be heading in few days from now, this woman really know to push my button. Everytime she opens her mouth, she just adding more fuel to my anger. Thing started when i need to discuss with her on the details of the collaborative business trip. The trip for testing new system at vendor site before we could implement it in the office. For the whole project, i just a coordinator. She is the end user who will use the system but she doesn't give a dime about the trip.

Ok, here the situation. I "inherit" the project as part of my new job scope at this new office. Well, nothing i could do to avoid it so i just devour and enjoy it. She on the other hands try her best not to give the cooperation that i need. I mean, come on! I also have tons of work on my plate that i need to take care of but she was soooo pissed me off with her careless attitude. For a starter, she doesn't even read the functional design documents. Yes, you're the new kids of the block but show some effort, please. To think that i'm running around to coordinate the whole thing even for her traveling itirenary and push her to get the traveling documents approved by her managers, i'm sure my patience just at best when i could handle all that. even up to that point, she don't even have any effort to clear things up with her manager on traveling issue that we have.

she almost get the best of me when she again playing her careless card when i urge her to get things sorted before tomorrow. i wonder how i could still smile when i talk to her at that moment, i admire my acting. to be the end user and ignore the testing for the system, she don't know what going to get her way soon.

from what i heard from small investigation with her staff (he will follow us too for the business trip), she just kinda rude and authoritive to her subordinate. With that kind of attitude, she either one day will be hate or get raped by one of her subordinate!

I used to have 16 problematic male subordinates under my care and i could tell you it's so hard to work with them since all of them have "colourful" history. But to be able to relate to them (3 of them are at my dad age) and have a workable relationship, i'm proud of myself. You have to give respect to gain respect. To play it by their rules sometimes is the way to win them. You have to be harsh when needed but just chill out when they're behaving ok. They're ain't kids so treat them with respect even they are the one who sort your letters, photocopy your documents, deliver your parcels and sweep your floor.

I just don't get it why most executives (new and current) so full of themselves! they think they're smart but they know very little about the world. and not to mention (even I hate to make sexist remarks but it's my most encounter experience) that women are so full of themselves in this case. maybe most of them are spoilt brat but don't you parent teach you to respect others, you stupid cunt?

when was your last time you smile to janitors cleaning your office? or the tea lady who clean your office pantry? or the one who serve you food at the cafeteria?

i rest my case. you know yourself better.

Palestine vs Israel: Religious War or Liberation War?

Funny thing about Palestine and Israel issue is it's between Muslim and Jews which make me want to ask; is this a religious war? or is it a liberation war?

what i want to highlight (as i told lots of people last time), the strategy employed by both Hamas and Fatah is not working. The war exploded since 1946 and did anything change for better then?

if this is a liberation war, Palestinian should leave. Let's Jews have Palestine. Retreat and rearrange the strategies back as what Jews did last time when they get into Palestine. They play around with holocaust during WWII to get the world to sympathize with them. very clever indeed. If Palestinian stays in Palestine and waiting to be slaughtered, then nothing I could do about it. is it because of their pride? When you retreat, it doesn't mean you're lost, it just you buying some time to get back to drawing board of strategy. Remember Trojan Horse? how a group of retreat people infiltrate into a sleeping giant and slaughtered them.

if this is a religious war, then also Palestinian should leave. why? Remember "peristiwa Hijrah"? Mohammad s.a.w. move from Mekah to Madinah when there are nothing they could do in Mekah to win. Carefully strategize, Mohamad s.a.w. come back to win Mekah. and in the process He didn't kill any civilian. he didn't blow up any religious place belongs to other religion.

and as far as i remember, Islam never told Muslim to blow/kill/torture/beheaded civilian, women, children and old people.
Since when did Islam allow Muslim to butcher innocent people?
Since when did Muslim allowed to blow up other religion religious place?
Did Mohamad s.a.w. teach Muslim to do that?
Did Mohamad s.a.w. blow/kill any Jews civilian during his time?
Did this war is so big and important that Muslim just could neglect all what Islam had told them just to win back Palestine?
Did this war so important that Muslim are allowed to pray for Israel damnation?
Since when Islam teach Muslim to pray for other people bad luck?
Did Mohammad s.a.w pray for damnation of people who give him hard time?

I dunno about your version of Islam but the version of Islam i know doesn't teach all that. Cause the version of Islam that I know is a religion of peace. Religion that ask Muslim to question their doing, whether is it right or wrong. Religion that teach about value creation.

Now, back to macro, does this a religious war? or does this a liberation war?

on the other hand:
are we so civilized that we're barbaric and crude?

Dear diary I

dear diary,

today is not my most beautiful day. i'm pretty much exhaustive at work, my mind couldn't work faster than it should and tons and tons of work on my plate. i keep telling myself, "this will end, someday". i wasn't please to see myself this bimbo; feel like chasing after a bullet train on a bicycle. i dunno what's wrong with my mind but it seems lately my mind being too stupid to absorb things that i need to learn quickly. am i getting older, diary?

after work, i have my own personal hell waiting. i hate to think things after work. mom give me hell throughout this month. i dunno why but it seems nothing i could do to satisfy her. i'm indifferent right now. am i a bad son, diary?

and when everything couldn't get right, i so not in the mood. so, i lost my appetite. lost lots of my sleep and everyday seems become more difficult to walk on. i spoil her mood again. it's my fault. i couldn't cheer up to her given my current condition. am i selfish, diary?

right now, i feel nothing. numb. heavily sedated. barely move. diary, i feel like crying. i hate myself when i cry but what could i do, diary? i'm really tired, diary. will you hug me and comfort me for a while? thank you, diary.

now,allow me to leap off the building. goodbye. thank you for listening. i love you so much.

the need of a hero & the need to become one

Hero; a savior figure. I believe that hero is a man/woman comes and save the day; in my case, come to save me. Superhero; hero with super power, a mere imagination. What we have in this bitter reality is just average hero; human with miracle that they created.

For past months, i been watching Dr Who. Dr Who is a British series created long time ago and just had been given new life by BBC Wales. Up to date, 4 seasons already for the new Dr Who. Dr Who telling the story about Time Lord; the last of his kind wandering around the time and space saving civilization, rescue planets and such. An intriguing series by BBC and influence lots of British. Considered as amongst longest running television series with 752 episode to date.

What intrigue the most about Dr Who and the act of hero is eventhough "the Doctor" is clearly a hero but as he always said; "look at this clever human being, look at their potential!" telling something about human being. In the eyes of an alien (the Doctor is so not human - he's from Gallifrey), human being are capable of heroic act; the act that make them hero.

In life, sometimes we feel so lost that we secretly wish someone come to save us. Get scolded at work, unmotivated at school, heart broken, failing exam, drowning, completely lost faith in love, broken family, business collapsed etc. The list can goes on and on and on. We need a saviour. We need a hero.

Everyone needs a hero, conciously or subconciously.

And everyone needs to become one. You know what you could do best, make use of it for betterment. I realize that in today competitive world, nobody care about anybody. I care for my own good. I'm not saying that you should leave your business and join Peace Corp but being a hero shouldn't be in grand scale of things. Ever heard that "you're the world to someone"? It's truly it. Well, at least to your bank. Gone missing for 3 months and see how much they missed you. Aside that, everybody have a purpose to live, a purpose to be happy.

Do what you do best in life and become a better man/woman each day and you'll be a hero. Sometimes people just don't see it cause people around them never tell it. Well people, you better start told people around you how much they save you even by tiny bit. It makes a different for people morale. A simple thank you note, a smile and an act of care could save lots of souls from being forever torment.

I once have this inferiority about how much people actually reading this useless piece of writing and once I decided to stop writing. But on that one fine day, there are somebody (an anonymous really) tell me that how much he likes to read my writing. I'm relieved to hear that really. In some way, i feel like a hero. I feel like that i'm likable. That I'm not as bad as I think of. That i have potential in this inferior looking and feeling. So, go on be a hero and save the world!

Look at this beautiful people, looks how clever they are. Brilliant human being!