I Just Don't Understand Rafa

It had been a while. It had been a busy month, budget submission stuff piling up. Though, I will not miss any EPL game (hopefully).

Talking about yesterday game (versus Aston Villa), Rafa have to choose Lucas Leiva instead of Riera. I just don't get it. Lucas is far inconsistent compare to Riera and if Riera gone to the left flank, Rafa could just push Benayoun to support behind Gerrard. To actually subtitute Lucas with Voronin was utterly bullshit. Voronin is an average player and since he had been missing for loan spell outside Anfield, you need someone who have better chemistery with the team; Riera. Gerrard would be done with less midfield role if Benayoun and Kuyt and Mashcerano could cover the midfield area. Mascherano does play good game and heck, he much better than Lucas. I still don't get what's in Rafa's mind to put Lucas there.

I'm pretty dissapointed with Rafa's choice but I have faith in him as a manager. And to think of that it's still early of this season, maybe I should relax abit and let the Reds cruise through this season. It's still early to decide on things cause it's just third game of the season, the season still have 35 games to go. Yes, still long way to go.

Owh...i got something to add into my LFC collections.

The New LFC European Kit & 08/09 Review

Another updates, gone to Pontian to see her. Yes, she's mine. We went to some great adventure and I miss her sorely now. Love her, yes, love her. Pray for the happiness stay for longest ever.

Ciao~

Serenity: For The Love of Peace

Have you ever look at someone face and feel serene?

It's almost like a blood rush to the head, distorting feeling but in pleasant manner. A rude awakening which inviting your inner feeling to dip in and you can't help to be peace with yourself.

And you think you feel something else. Something which make your eyes couldn't let go of watching that someone.

For a moment, you think you find love at first sight. You madly, deeply and crazily in love. You even convinced that that someone will be the one.

But, a disruption erupted (just like the one happened right now). You finally took your eyes of that someone. You flip over new pages of your life, you move one. Life goes on for what it takes, you gone through alot.

And when life couldn't be easy and throwing not only kitchen sink but the whole stove, cabinets and everything, you see that someone face again. Faster than a blink of eyes, your pain gone....a warm feeling seep through your vain. The rush, the distorted feeling came back! You're in heaven. You're at peace with yourself again. Now, even a big monster truck run over you, you'll feel nothing. You're genuinely euphoric!

You feel like holding it longer, but as experience and life thought you, the most beautiful thing is the most fragile thing. You weeping inside, like no other major crybaby ever did. Your selfishness struck a chord with your possessive instinct. NO, I DON'T WANT TO LET GO! PLEASE DON'T!

Then suddenly reality check-in your brain box. That someone face changed! That someone face no longer the face you used to feel serene. Was that delusion? Was I robbed of my sense?

You realize that you want to hold on longer to the feeling, not the face. You want to feel peace with yourself, to get excited over the love at first sight again (delusional...very delusional) and the euphoria!

Love....for once again showered your dry, forsaken heart wonderland! For that an instant of spark change you again. You want to believe that you could feel it again. I could change, I could be loved.

Have you feel like this lately?

Have Some Decency

Facebook! Where should I start?

Fair enough, most people have a Facebook account or at least heard about Facebook. A social networking which currently upward trend in replacing other social network such as Friendster and MySpace. Facebook is the IN thing that for some social network virgin addicted to it like how I used to addict to bulletin board namely Grapevine. Or how few of my friends addicted to DoTA and Counter Strike which prove fatal to their academic performance and/or love life.

There are nothing wrong with addiction, everyone of us have our own addiction but you need to know where to draw the line. If you're addicted to tobacco, know that you shouldn't push others to inhale the ciggie smoke with you. If you're addicted to liqour, just consume it on your own and don't push it into somebody throat. There are fine line between good and evil; stop flirting with it.

And if you're so happen to addicted to Facebook, its quizes or its games, have some decency to stop updating your page like every 15 minutes. Especially when people know that you're supposed to be working your ass for your salary. I don't mind occasional update especially during lunch hour or after office hour (though it's still not right but it's tolerable to say the least). When I received 30 plus notifications especially from my friends who supposed to work yet have their facebook games updated almost every hour, it's rather rub me the wrong way.

Yes, I know you hate your work or demotivated just to be at work but for some dignity that might still left behind in yourself, stop showing that you're so carefree and didn't care about work. Yes, you hate the job and everybody knows it but enough of that. Do something that worthy your salary the least you could do. Have some decency to show that you're getting paid to work not to facebook every single hour.

Yes, most of the time; I do hate my job. But right now, I mostly feel indifferent. I do it because I getting paid for it and I feel responsible to show where I should land myself at. I don't expect highly of myself to excel but I do enough for people to recognize that I have done something what qualify me to get paid every month end.

If that doesn't work for you, just be reminded that there are eyes watching what you do at Facebook especially with Facebook could update ALL your friends what you're up to. It might get back to you someday if you don't carefully watch what you're doing at Facebook. It might be used against you, someday.

Otherwise, God bless you. :)

A Letter To 16 Years Old Me

Ideas from Sue and Dils.

=======================================================

Dear Dueng,

This is the year that you should cherish the most, for this is the best year in your high school years. Remember that PMR which you excel in it? Don't get blown away by it, trust me, it's nothing comparable to what you going to endure in future.

You probably nervous to choose between Pure Science or Technical stream, don't be worried. The sign that you're a Pure Science stream student had been given last year. Remember that Kemahiran Hidup class and your plan drawing was messy due to your sweaty hand? This year going to be a year of clarity, you'll get the clear picture of what you want in your life so don't waste the moment. If you feel the urge to do something good academically, it's worth every single impulse decision that you'll made.

Chemistery will be your forte though it's finally crush you in university. Add Math was always the bore of the year, just hanging there. An F is not uncommon, eh? Physics however have some love-hate attraction, the subject was a bore however the teacher is a must dealt with. Don't worry, she will toned down alot next year. Opsss..yes, 2 years under her but trust me, it worth every moment with her. It speaks alot about how people change due to something important to them and take a good lesson on it. Modern Math is a bonus for you since she's really your favorite kind. You dig her attitude but keep your hand to yourself, eh.

You must be feeling rebellious and feel that nobody could understand you. Just keep your mouth shut in front of the family, it helps alot with lessen the friction in your relationship. Well, the relationship definitely improve from past year but yeah, you know the drill during Ramadhan. It's so funny though at the moment, it will annoy you the hell out of you. Just endure it.

Lots of new faces come in and you feel the rush to get know them. Go for it though it would be damn awkward and will create lots of wild gossip. Otherwise, it will affect you for a very long time...even now. Love is your renewed and strengthen forte, though it will not work out that well. You'll have your moment though your shyness keep you from keep it up there. Don't worry, you'll learn the hard way to overcome that though she was brilliant, isn't she? She just too cute for you to resist and you spend your day and night dreaming bout her. Hopeless romantic but yeah, you're just 16 so i guess, it's allowed.

People around you will be mean to you by calling you names. Though you ignore it but deep down inside, you hate them for that. I know how you feel but remember that those people didn't worth it. Someday, you'll meet people who appreciate you and cherish you and respect you as you deserved it. Those people will make you feel comfortable in your own skin and you appreciate them for doing that for you. These people around you, right now, is not worth your value. Let it pass by but remind yourself not to mingle around with these kind of crowd if you have options not to. People who calling you names and treat yourself like some dumb shit wasn't a good crowd to begin with. You mature earlier than them hence why their childishness irritate you the most. Though sometimes you enjoy it (after all, you just a kid; i know you mad at me for saying these words but the fact is, you're still a kid), you hate them the most. You hate the wild gossip, you hate the name calling, you hate how childish they could be and it's suffocate you out of your social life which unrepairable till today.

Anyway, enjoy life as it goes as I trust you to make the right call. You'll have no regret academically but yeah, it's rather weird and challenging year in your social life. Next year, it's going to be a nice ride though the final outcome wasn't the best but you'll thanks yourself for screwing up few things especially that Biology SPM paper. Your impulse decision on academic help you alot next year hence put less stress in you for getting good results. Though, I hope you could put more effort in Add Math, it's not like you're going to listen to me anyway. I also have no regret over how it turns out but yeah, a little more A's would be nice, eh?

Owh....I almost forgot. Enjoy yourself in 3 on 3 basketball tournament, you'll have the hell of your youth there and don't hold back for what you think is right at the moment. It's so candid and hillarous, you need to wait for it. Practice your 2 point shoot, it's worth it.

Lastly, for whatever you think to improve yourself; to benchmark yourself against yourself, you do the right thing. You could only get better than your old self and it's the talking point of most people who succeed in their life. Though, your life wasn't that glittering with success, you'll satisfied with what you have done. You're matured alot for a 16 years old though nobody could see it but it's ok. These crowd didn't worth it except for some people.

Enjoy life, I know you will!