Love FF

Have you ever feel hopeless watching the one you love; love somebody else?

Everything about you and her seems far away. She is the most beautiful flower your heart crave yet too far for you to reach, your leg stuck in the mud while she is a flower at the highest peak. She belongs to one who don't deserve her, don't appreciate her. Your heart aching when you see her in the hand of fools who see her only as possession. Your heart bleed when you see her in front of your eyes wasting her love and heart towards somebody who didn't love her.

No matter how much you try to reach to her, it's just silence filling the hollow. Your love screams only to echo to absorbent dead silent. Even when you scream your lungs out, only silence.

She was, is and will be the most beautiful things ever walk God's Earth. Behind those fog and smoke, her beauty shine blown all fog and smoke away. Her grace is like an angel from the sky. Your heart keep telling you; this is hope! this is miracle!

Even so, the angel wasted her purity. If only your hand could reach her further, if only those ungrateful bastard stop luring her, she will be yours. In your wake or dream, her and her only lingering in your mind, dancing in your dream and send you to 7 heavens where's your eyes meet her eyes and tears rolling down your cheeks.

Love is so beautiful and you wish for one moment for her to reach your love echoes. Even by weak resonant, you wish she could hear it. And she will know that amongst those who worship her beauty, there are one man who worship her heart.

and when those moments come, he and she shall be together.








owh...my Ford Focus ST!


p/s: i'm so in love with this car!

google (image) it!

Tagged by Zahiera, so here I'm typing this. Btw, you could read her magnificient thought here. Enjoy:

I am....

Apparently, my nickname "dueng" is a mountain or highland in Thailand. So, here the output when i google image it.absolutely beautiful place!

I really want to go....

Anfield Stadium. For as long as i knew LFC, i really want to go to Anfield Stadium. I want to shed manly tears for the KOP chanting and spirit! Next destination after Anfield would be Japan. You know why!

My fave place....

I'm not hardcore when it comes to read books but i love to browse books, reading synopsis, extracting quick tips, and a stress reliever. Why kinokuniya? because i think they have lots of choice of books compare to the other bookstore and very nice ambience (Kino and Borders at par). used to love Novelhut in Ipoh for its cheap second hand books.

My fave things.....

The rig in the picture almost like the one i have. beautiful and messy! I love my PC and quickly become one thing that i couldn't live without. :)

My fave drink.....

Owh i'm so not to "tolak" any mango drink. I just love mango. but since i love mango juice, i become quite picky on the taste. i most of the time will just drink any mango juice but to rate any mango juice as good, that's gonna be tough.

My fave food.....

This is without saying; the greatest food that i ever enjoy. i'm very picky about my sambal ikan bilis and eventhough i eat most sambal ikan bilis, just like mango juice; it's hard for me to rate any sambal ikan bilis as great. i'm that picky!

my fave colors.....

Black is my favorite color. Cause it's cool, hot, elegant and cute. seriously, black is the new black. nothing could match this color in term of matching up with any other color (except for white).

I live in....

Not in ladang kelapa sawit! My hometown in Kuantan, in Felda Bukit Sagu 01. My dad is one of the later settler in this felda and home is the best place to be! I remember catching up with friends having picnic in the middle of ladang, fishing and menangguk ikan. the good old days!

I was born in.....

Born in Hospital Besar, Kuantan. Couldn't remember much bits of it but the view here at top floor to sungai kuantan is magnificient!

My almamater....

UTP; The best place (eventhough i complaints alot bout this place) to be. the best years of my life. and i'm glad i'm enjoying it!

SEMSAS; my other almamater. Beautiful place, mixed memories and maturing experience all still kept properly in my mind.

my fave series....

Great Teacher Onizuka (GTO); The first drama that i hooked up with, most watched, and most entertaining and moving. This drama inspire me to be a teacher! for good and bad reason! hahahaha.

my hobbies....

Surfing net. kadang2 download, kadang2 just reading wikipedia, kadang2 bloghopping. Depends on mood and necessities.

Watching movies and dramas. the picture is just like the setup of pc that i have here in my room. and yes, i do watch it with my feet (without socks) pointing to the pc while my back resting on my bedside. heaven!

My wish....

In my new year resolution. hoho.

Gen Y

1. They spend around RM300-RM500 a month on entertainment and leisure
err...yes. I love to eat, i indulge in good food. i'm guilty as charged! most of the time, i love buying perfume and watching movie.

2. Their love for shopping has earned them the label of "dream consumers"
I rarely shop but when i'm in the mood, i spend quite relevant amount of money. hole in my pocket.

3. On a good day, they hang out at designer coffee outlets and indulge in good food, which easily comes to RM15 per meal
Used to hang out in Starbucks, on my winded up day. yes, when i need somewhere to escape, i run away from my routine. Now, takdak dah.

4. Many own the newest handphones, equipped with the latest technology. Doesn't matter if they are not technologically savvy enough to utilize all the functions; what is important is that they own something at par with what their peers have.
Almost there. Just the money stop me. gile hape nak kejar technology, couldn't afford it anymore. But the one with money definitely chasing after it. believe me, there are lots of people who have more money than sense.

5. Two-thirds know the price of an iPod, but three-quarters have no idea what a carton of milk costs.
i know both.

6. They have hundreds of illegally downloaded songs
er...did i? not hundreds, just hundred thousands je. :P. nothing cheaper than free eh.

7. One in 20 spends more than RM200 a month on mobile phone bills
I spent around RM 50 - RM 60 for phone bills. I think i know few people who spent more than RM 300 per month just for the phone bills. Valid statement i guess.

8. A number of them have more than one phone
1 number, 1 handphone, 1 headache. enough for me. i knew few friends who have up to 3 phone. yeah...busy "playing" around.

9. Many do not read the newspapers, or watch the TV news
I read newspaper, especially sport news. occasionally, i missed out things due to work. but i guess few of my friends hardly read newspaper or watch news. one thing that they read; entertainment news. well, not everybody interested in politics and world issue.

10. They are heavily dependent on 'helicopter parents' who hover protectively over their offspring
Most of us here quite independent. Eventhough sometimes we messed up with our expenditure, but somehow we always managed to get through it. I think i stop being dependent to my parent once i get into uni. some still depend on their parent; whether they yet to get on their feet or they just know their parent always there to save them from pinch. time will teach them once they learn to let go of the grasping hand. and the overprotecting parent pun kenalah let it go. let the kids grow.

So, now I will officially start the tagging game. Hereby, I tag:
Narulle
Sayut
Bet
Hani

7 Perkara

7 Fakta Mengenai Diri Saya (7 Facts about Me..)

1. I'm overweight and i don't like people to make fun of that.
2. I'm quite talkative really.
3. I'm quite sensitive.
   
4. My life is my pc.
   
5. Think alot, 360 degrees thought yet there are always loophole here and there.
   
6. I love kids.
   
7. Easily irritated even by smallest miss out but i keep things to myself.

7 Perkara Yang Menakutkan Saya Di Dunia (7 Things that Scare Me in the World.. -_-)

1. Live without PC.
   
2. Live without internet.
   
3. No friends.
   
4. No family.
   
5. No space for myself.
   
6. Not being myself.
   
7. Venomous creature.
   

7 Lagu Kegemaran Buat Masa Sekarang (7 Current Favourite Songs)

1. YUI - Oh My God.
   
2. YUI - Laugh Away.
   
3. Otsuka Ai - Sakuranbo.
   
4. The Cure - Boys Don't Cry (my ringtone).
   
5. Jason Mraz - I'm Yours.
   
6. Otsuka Ai - Rocket Sneakers.
   
7. Matchbox 20 - Mad Season.
   

7 Perkataan Yang Selalu Saya Sebut (7 Words Mostly I Said..)

1. Okies.
2. Yeah, right.
   
3. God Damn It.
   
4. Arghhh..fuck!
   
5. Yo.
   
6. ahhh...cute!
   
7. hehehehe.

7 Perkara Yang Bernilai Bagi Diri Saya (7 Valuable Things for Me)

1. Me myself.
2. My PC.
   
3. My internet.
   
4. My japanese drama.
   
5. My friends.
   
6. My family.
7. My work.
   

7 Pertama Kali Dalam Hidup Saya (7 First Time in My Life)

1. First time buying my own PC.
   
2. First time Jdorama; GTO.
3. First time working.
   
4. First time living in KL.
5. First time away from home.
6. First time falling in love.
   
7. And so many other first time that I do not dare to reveal here.

7 Orang Yang Bertuah Untuk Menjawab Soalan-soalan Di Atas (7 “Lucky” Peeps That Need to Waste Their Time Doing This)

Sesape je la. Kalau rajin dan banyak masa kosong, silakan buat. :)

The Archer

So I watched opening ceremony of Beijing 2008. Wasn't impressed me much except they make use of light at best! I still think Athens 2004 had one hell of opening ceremony compared to what Beijing had done. Nevertheless, I been set my eyes to Korean archers since Sydney 2000 and now i finally moved to next stage in knowing them. Known well in providing best archer in the sport, Korean archers had been excel in Olympic since the first introduction to the sport in Olympic. I keen to get know their female archer which so cute yet very intimidating in their performance. My favorite archer in my opinion is:

Yun Ok Hee - Korea

Look at her panda's chest protector and pink bow, you never thought that she's one of the best archer in the world. She so cute yet she's so intimidating when she doing her business! (ok2, she's just my taste). I had been seeing her since Sydney but couldn't get her name that time. I miss most of Athens 2004 so hardly see her.

Ok, that's my rumbling for today. Will update more if i have the time and the mood~!

Chalk & Cheese Banner

Chalk & Cheese new banner. Try to upload it to make it as a banner in this blog. Ah...trying to change how things work in here.

Who Am I?

Adek make me do this. Again. Ahahhahaa.

The Rules :
1. Each blogger must post these rules first.
2. Each blogger starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their eight things and post these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged, and to read your blog.

Fact #1: JDo Freak
He love JDo. Most people know it. He could watch the whole season in one go. Crazy? He has lots of time to kill.

Fact #2: Sensitive
He's a sensitive guy. He attentive to things but he care less to make people notice of this quality which is make him much more inpredictable. he was a crybaby and he still is.

Fact #3: Internet & PC
He love surfing internet. He love virtual world. He hardly survive without PC and internet.

Fact #4: He's a loner
he love to hang out with friends but most of the time, he just want to be alone. He love flirting but he hardly hold on. He also doesn't know whether he could fix his mind to one person and one person only at a time which make it difficult for him to be in a relationship.

Fact #5: Easily bored
he's a superficial human. he only love things when it's simple. the same goes to works, love, family and life. he love to simplify things which sometimes others don't like it. he hates details which make him restless. he love jumping around from a topic to another (you could sense this while talking to him). Hence, he hardly deeply in love ergo, he hardly hold on to anybody. he has friends but he always feel alone.

Fact #6: Blunt
he can be blunt. He can says the blunt truth without considering what others feels. he just want to be honest but it seems honesty wasn't a quality people looking for.

Fact #7: Inferiority Complex
he has inferiority complex. he has no confidence eventhough he might appear strong and cold. he crumble under his inferiority complex in front of the one he love which make him look weak and useless. he hate himself very much when he's weak. he appears cold and unfriendly so that people don't know that he's weak and wish not to know people whom might in love with him which make him weak again.

Fact #8: He's poetic
He's quite good at making people flatter. He's quite a flirt but hardly obvious (or at least that what he think of). He has the gift of making decent conversation yet he reluctantly manipulate that.

Choose the next 8?
Anyone who read this.

My 5 Favorite Links

Tagged by Adeq, i had been thinking of sharing my favorite links long time ago thus thanks for tagged me.
=================================================================

The Linking Tag Rules

1. List out five favourite links - the links can be of business sites, affiliate links or whatever that suits the blogger.
2. Tag five more people to share their links, so hopefully, at the end of the tag, we would be able to share good links with each other.
3. The links MUST be clean. No X-rated sites.
4. List out only FIVE links.
5. You MUST tell FIVE people you choose.
6. Provide the link back to the person who tagged you.
7. Obviously, it should be an active link.

My 5 favourite links:

1) Kapasitor.Net is a place where you could read poem, stories, blog and other creative materials. It's created by Jojo firstly as personal blog to post his "Aku Budak Setan: Nazihah" masterpiece and grows into an awesome creative content community. I love to read blog, poem and short story. A must read for everyday dose of creative content.

2) My Blog of course! Since i have most of fellow bloggers of mine in the link on the right panel, i always load my blog page first thing in the morning. Also to read the comments & any new shoutout (eventhough i rarely reply to it).

3) Wikipedia now the giant pimp of trustworthy and valid information of the Net. It might be freely edited but with tight regulation and references required to validate articles, it become hot spot for knowledge centre in the Net. Read the news and trivia (facts of the day kinda) and you will amaze to where the article could wiki-hopping you to another articles.

4) English - Japanese Online Dictionary provide a place for freaking Japanophile. The dictionary provide quick references for standard words and the best thing about this dictionary is it accepts *romaji so even if your PC not support Japanese character display & keyboard setup, you could still find the meaning of word using romaji.

*Romaji is way to spell Japanese words using alphanumeric character. Example to try: gomen nasai in Jap -> English.

5) Drama Wiki is among the best wiki for Asian drama. Since this wiki is a project of D-Addicts, it pretty much cover certain countries only which are Japan, Korea, Hong Kong, Chinese, Taiwan & Singapore. It provide comprehensive information and updated almost daily with tight guidelines on posting articles. Updates on upcoming dramas giving readers and downloaders on latest drama which would be release in market for upcoming season (in Japanese drama case, they release drama according to winter, fall, summer and spring).

As listed my favorite links when i surf the Net in the office. At home, i have another few links which i frequently visit such as Friendster, EPL, Utusan Malaysia, D-Addicts and few more. You could say i'm a nerd since most of my life is about Internet. Seriously, i wonder how i could survive without Internet in a day. Perhaps that statement ia exaggerating but i could die of boredom without Internet.

Who i want to tag?
Nah...i end the tag game here. :)

Quickie:
Gokusen 3 will be available in Spring 2008. Gokusen 3 Wiki Link.

Social Butterfly??

Credit to Adek and Wiena, i got hooked up with Daemon thingy of Golden Compass. Am a Butterfly? huhu. ok2, am a bit bored, so what? hahaha.

Oh My Tag!!

1. FAVORITE BREAKFAST IS: Nasik lemak kampung baru or McD Big breakfast

2. THE MOVIE I'VE WATCHED MOST NUMBER OF: The Italian Job (I love the Mini's)

3. LEAST FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL: Add Math (nasib baik tak fail jer Add Maths waktu SPM)

4. SPEND MY LEISURE TIME: Watching Movie And Japanese Dorama

5. WORST SMELL? Hypocrisy

6. IF I COULD HAVE ANY CAR IN THE WORLD, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Ford Focus ST

7. FAVORITE HOUSEHOLD CHORE? Cleaning

8. WHEN I WAS A KID I DREAMT OF BECOMING A: Teacher

9. FAVORITE COLOR/s? Black, Dark Blue.

10.FAVORITE PERFORMER(S)? Tom Hanks, Denzel Washington, Russel Crowe.

11. IF I COULD REPEAT COLLEGE, I'D TAKE: Business Administration.

12. THREE THINGS I CAN'T FORGET BEFORE GOING TO OFFICE? Bag pack, access card, my Everlast's watch.

13. FIRST THING I'LL BUY WITH MY FIRST SALARY: Olympus Digicam.

14. I'D LIKE TO BE REMEMBERED AS: funny guy, a great listener.

15. IF A BOOK WAS MADE INTO A MOVIE, WOULD YOU STILL BOTHER TO READ THE BOOK? Usually no.

16. SPECIALTY IN COOKING? Nasik Goreng Kampung, Kobis Masak Kicap.

17. PRESENT CRUSH(ES)? None for the time being.

18. FAVORITE HANG-OUT? Mamak!!!

19. BEST PLACE TO SHOP? Jusco Ipoh.

20. DO YOU LIKE TO WATCH PLAYS? Nope.

21. FAVORITE PLACE IN YOUR HOUSE? My room.

22. BEST GIFT YOU'VE RECEIVED? Buku nota hadiah dari Panitia Kimia kerana markah test Kimia tertinggi dalam tingkatan.

23. WEIRDEST GIFT YOU RECEIVED? Donut dari sorang member.

24. GIFT THAT YOU WANT TO RECEIVE AS OF THIS MOMENT? Ticket to Anfield Road, Liverpool.

25. WHO DO YOU WANT TO TAG? Sesape yang rasa nak buat. hahahaha.

26. YAHOO OR HOTMAIL: Yahoo!

27. LEFT OR RIGHT: Right

28. BLACK OR WHITE: Black

29. BLACK OR BLUE PEN: Black

30. SANDALS OR SHOES: Shoes

31. COLGATE OR HAPPEE: Colgate

32. CHOPSTICKS OR SPOON AND FORK? Spoon and fork

33. ROBOCOP OR RAMBO: Robocop.

34. JOLLIBEE OR McD: McD. I'm lovin' it!

35. COKE OR PEPSI: Coke. Vanilla Coke.

36. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO: My subordinate.

37. LAST PERSON WHO TEXTED YOU: Mochi(Aizad)

38. LAST PERSON WHO MADE YOU LAUGH: My subordinate

39. LAST TIME I CRIED: Watching a sad jdo.

40. YOU SEE ME ALWAYS DRINKING: Plain water, teh o ais, ice lemon tea.

Mari menge-tag orang!!!

5 Things In My Bag
1) Bunch of keys
2) Tali leher
3) mp3 player
4) wallet
5) buku Mitch Albom's "Five People You Meet In Heaven"

5 Things That Are In My Wallet
1) Receipts
2) Duit
3) Cards (IC, ATM, Student card, old LRT cards)
4) Tiket bas untuk raya ni
5) More receipts

5 Favorite Things In My Bedroom
1) My beloved "girlfriend" a.k.a my PC
2) Katil
3) Stack of CDs and DVDs
4) My wardrobe
5) My perfume

5 Things I Wish To Do
1) Get married
2) Buy a house
3) Vacation to Anfield
4) Playing sport regularly
5) Buy a MyVi

5 Things I Am Doing Right Now
1) Reading spam emails
2) Preparing for departmental budget
3) Bloghopping
4) Discussing about how Chelsea will survive without Jose Mourinho
5) Solving small issues on budget

5 People I Would Like To Tag
1) I want to end this chain reaction thus i don't want to tag anybody.
2) ok2, sesape terasa nak buat, buatlah. especially mereka2 yang takder idea nak tulis kat blog. i tag you!

Magnificient 7

7 things to do before I die
- speak japanese fluently
- enjoy long holiday in japan
- get married
- having multi-tier business
- having my dream house built
- watching world cup rugby and FIFA world cup
- going to liverpool

7 things I can’t do
- live without internet
- live without my pc
- doing fear factor
- totally understand women's mind
- kissing men when i'm sober
- not supporting Liverpool FC
- parting from movies and japanese drama

7 things that attract me to Europe
- English football
- British country side (scotland and irish)
- scandinavian women
- venice
- building and art
- hitler and berlin
- exotic eastern europe

7 things I say
- okies
- loh...
- then?
- hrm...
- yer la sangat OR yer la tu
- hahahhaha
- entah la..

7 good books
- Dan Brown's Angels & Demons (the best thriller from dan brown)
- Ahmad Deedat's The Choice (how to handle christian's preacher?)
- Abdullah Hussin's Imam (battle of religious "the untouchable" people)
- Robert Kiyoski's Rich Dad, Poor Dad (how to be finicially independent)
- Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code (second best thriller from dan brown)
- Koleksi Cerpen: Anak Kemerdekaan (karya pramerdeka hingga karya pascamerdeka)
- Kevin Mitnick's The Art of Intrusion (a must read book for IT guy)

7 good films
- 300 (the best epic i ever watch)
- Kingdom of Heaven (beautifully deep thought, beautifully forge words)
- Gladiator (a good epic, beautiful struggle)
- Remember the Titans (sport meet racial struggle, good OST though)
- Men on Fire (revenge is a meal best served cold)
- The Wizard of OZ (dorothy and her ruby slipper)
- Love Actually (beautiful & unique love stories)

7 blogs to tag
if you read this, you need to do this. Otherwise, you will get bad luck for 40 years. hahahahaha.

Four Meme

Tagged by phyp (mengisi masa lapang di malam2 hari cuti sangap takder apa nak buat tapi tak dapat tidur).

Four Jobs I've had:
1. Trainee - SME Bank (dulu2 dikenali sebagai BPIMB)
2. Admin Forum - K5 Admin for one semester. one hell of semester during my final semester.
3. Babysitter cum unpaid lecturer - babysitting my nieces (5 of them) and tutoring them for mathematics, science and english.
4. Marketing - do marketing with COBRA group. what an experience, really valued it.

Four Movies I Could Watch Over and Over:
1. White Chick (damn funny)
2. Kingdom of Heaven (lots of beautifully forge sentence)
3. Miss Congeniality (i love chic flick, so what?)
4. Mean Girl (another chic flick. they help me calm down.)

Four Places I have Lived:
1. Kuantan
2. SEMSAS
3. Tronoh, forsaken land.
4. KL.

Four TV Shows I Would Love to Watch:
1. House MD (never miss an episode)
2. Survivor ( my first tv shows)
3. GTO - Japanese drama (thousand times rerun..or millions?)
4. Who Wants to be A Millionare (to see if i'm brilliant enough)

Four Places I have been on Vacation:
1. Air Terjun Panching, Kuantan
2. Pantai Balok, Kuantan
3. Melaka (Taman Mini Malaysia, the whole mallaca town just in one day..walking)
4. Rantau Panjang, Kelantan (shopping paradise)

Four Websites I Visit Daily:
1. company intranet
2. my blog
3. Wikipedia.org (mengisi masa lapang dimasa tiada kerja)
4. D-addicts.com ("shopping" list Jdorama untuk di download)

Four of My Favorite Foods:
1. Sambal Ikan Bilis (i can be a bitch in evaluating this)
2. Inari - sushi
3. Nasi Goreng of any kind (also can be a bitch in evaluating this)
4. Blueberry Cheese Cake of secret recipe..yummy.

Four Places I would Rather Be:
1. In front of my pc.
2. by window side, watching rain pouring down.
3. seaside, layan jiwang sorang2.
4. in bed.

Four Albums I Cannot Live Without:
1. Unplugged by The Coors
2. Hybrid Theory By LP
3. Warning By Green Day
4. Sebuah Kisah Klasik By Sheila On 7

I have more to say but i think i already said (lot) in the past. Someday, this list might change. Life is about changes, ain't it?

Who i want to tag? none in particular. whoever feel like sharing their interest, please don't hesitate to do so.


p/s: heavy cloud inside my head, runny nose. ah..tak suka nya selsema.

V-Day Tragedy

Semalam Hari Valentine. 14 Februari 2007. Mungkin sudah ditakdirkan oleh Tuhan bahawa semalam bakal jadi titik penting hidup aku. Untuk menerima bahawa terjadinya yang telah terjadi ibarat menelan jadam. Pahit nya meresap ke segenap isi perut, meninggalkan sisa-sisa kepahitan tak terhilang serta merta. Entah lah...mungkin saja bila mana aku dah bersedia untuk melepaskan dia pergi dari memoriku, mungkin diri ini masih sedar bahawa diri ini masih utuh berdiri dan bermimpi. Sekarang, biarkan aku dalam mimpi ngeri ku, melayan rasa pahit bak jadam ini.

Semalam, aku menerima satu berita. Berita yang tidak pernah ku sangka-sangka datang menjengah ketika aku meluputkan ingatan terhadap dia. Datangnya ingatan itu mengetuk rasa sedih ku, menyiat-nyiat perasaan ku. Diri aku meronta-ronta minta dilepaskan dari belenggu ini. Aku tak sanggup lagi mengenangkan dia.

Semalam, ku dengar berita yang membuat aku rasa bagai mahu mati. Dia yang dulu sentiasa membuat ku tersenyum kini sudah tiada. Lebih menyedihkan, aku tidak dapat bersua dengan nya buat kali terakhir nya. Janji yang termetrai hancur lerai dek kesibukan kerja. Untuk menyalahkan kerja, aku tidak sanggup. Itulah dedikasi aku, itulah masa depan aku. mungkin dia tak ngerti betapa aku amat dedikasikan hidup aku terhadap kerja yang satu ini.

Bukan aku tidak sayang, bukan aku tidak cinta tetapi sayangnya terdapat durjana menghantar dia pulang ke hadrat Ilahi. Oh Tuhan, kenapa mesti disaat begini. Disaat aku sangkakan segalanya berjalan lancar antara kami. Ketika aku sangat rindukan dia, ketika aku hampir saja mati tanpanya.

Nyaris aku hilang pertimbangan. Semua teman2 membisu. Seorang pun tidak berani bersuara. Aku hilang sabar.

"Kenapa ko tak cakap kat aku?", soal aku dgn marah.
"Bukan aku taknak bagitahu ko tapi......" jawab roomate aku teragak-agak.
"Tapi apa lagi? Ko ingat aku ni sape dgn dia???? Sampai hati ko wat aku camni. Aku tak layak tahu ke??? HAAAA...AKU TAK LAYAK TAHU KE??????" jerit aku.
"Aku taknak tengok ko marah-marah. Lagi pulak, benda kecik je pun. Rileks la beb."ujar roomate aku, gugup untuk menenangkan aku yang sudah naik minyak.

Masih cuba mengawal emosi yang sudah berantakkan, aku cuba menghalang hilang pertimbangan terhadap roomate sendiri.

"Ahhh,...sudahlah. Banyak la alasan ko. Cibai la sape yang tibai buah oren aku ni. Dah la yang terakhir tu beb. Susah nak carik yang manis camtu." ujar aku bersungguh-sungguh marahnya." kata aku.

"Loh. nanti aku ganti la balik. dramatik sial ko ni. Oren jer pun. Itu pun nak kecoh satu rumah ke?" housemate lain cuba menenangkan.

"Aku takder la marah, cuma aku kesal. Tapi since korang dah janji nak ganti, ganti sekilo la. Aku ketagih makan oren sekarang ni. hehehe. " kata ku cuba berlelucon.

"Beres. Tapi kita wat party sempena CNY la. hehehe." kata housemate sambil disambut gelak ketawa.

Kesimpulan: Happy Chinese New Year to all Malaysian. Makan oren byk2 untuk kesihatan yang baik.

p/s: jangan marah yer. senyum sikit di hari-hari stress begini. :)

6 weird things bout me

I been tagged by Lackluster a.k.a Raja. Cut the crap, here's some weird things bout me though i found out it's so not facinating at all.

1) Moody.

I found out that i'm quite easy to swing my mood. whether i purposely want to swing my mood, or it's just came out naturally. sometimes i get moody over things i already forgot. it's something wrong with my memory.

2) I'm a crybaby/oversensitive.

Refering to item #1, i can easily cry when i get moody. i hardly get mad, but i easily get sad. some people thought that i'm oversensitive and overdramatic sometimes. yurp, have to agree to that cause in a moody day, i tend to overdramatic/oversensitive. LOL.

3) Wild imagination.

- My current obsession is i wonder how would it be if LRT swift away from its track while i'm in it. i wonder the scenery look like with all people screaming.
- Another things, i love to imagine if the LRT swift away from its track while approaching platform and i'm the one at the platform waiting for the train, what could i do to save myself?
- I also love to imagine how does it feel to run over a pedestarian who walk by roadside.

4) I love wall.

When i sleep, i love to put my bed/futon/toto/mattress at the corner of the room. I feel secure when i see the wall beside me. Sometimes when i get depressed, i love to look at the wall and running away in my wild imagination. I love cold wall cause it's help me release my emotional burden.

5) Impulse reaction/decision.

I pretty much doing things by impulse. I always make impulse purchase (it's like when you see a thing and feel attracted to it and buy it without second thought). few times, i do crazy things like going to Penang from KL decided just in 15 seconds, running to Puduraya to buy ticket cause i just feel like going home that day, change my outing plan from having bowling game at Times Square to go to Kajang and hanging out with my friend there.

6) My comment much lengthy than my post.

Taking into consideration links that i have on the right side of this blog, i pretty much sure i comment much leghty than what i write in here. I certainly have lots of idea to write but i just can't reach any simpler conclusion. I hate myself to not finished writing those good idea but nothing much i could do to make it complete. Sometimes i get stucked halfway and put the idea to rest. Some ideas are just too personal and too ridicilous to discuss or it's rather premature to discuss bout it. It's rather incomplete puzzle that waiting to be solved. After i solved it, i will post it. Back to my lengthy comments, i rather have discussion on issue initiated by others. Just the same when i start new assignment, new project or new task. I need to refer to previous model so that i know the loophole and improvise it in my own way thus make that my idea. I rather be innovator than creator. Not i not having the guts, just sometimes i don't have the idea to start.

Ok, enough with 6 weird things bout me. Not so much weird i think, it's just preference of my life. Anyway, i want to pass this tag to:

1) Narulle
2) Rikku
3) Sarah
4) EE
5) Bet

I'm waiting guys~!

Tagged!!

Okies, i been tagged by adek a.k.a rearrange. Actually i have nothing much to update since i been fuckin busy lately. nope, i'm not kiddin or what. I AM fuckin busy lately and i rarely have enough rest (REST mean i rarely get my beauty sleep on weekend and riadah hujung minggu bersama teman2).

1. Name: Mohd Ridzuan Mat Zin
2. Age by 2006: 22
3. Status: complicatedly single. miahaha.
4. Nickname: mangifera, nuratiqah_suzana, vlkscode, mangifera_indica, [heartless], fleming, [emotionless], [tribute].
5. Siblings: 7 of them. 2 abang, 2 akak, 2 adik and me.
   
6. Anak no: 5
   
7. Anak sedara: around 20+. pengsan aku nak menjaga.
8. The most understanding person: my sister, kak na.
9. Things people dunno bout me (most people dunno bout me) : i do cry especially when i feel depressed.
10. i watch porn.
    
11. first crush? darjah 3. name dia nurul aliya bt abdul rahman.
12. i never kiss.
13. i never hold hand with my gf.
    
14. not even have gf.
15. always long distance relationship.
16. tak suka expose diri sendiri pada orang.
17. byk citer rahsia diri tapi masih byk yang orang tatau.
18. suka cakap apa yang bertentangan dgn apa yang dipikirkan.
19. pandai 'berlakon'.
20. anggap diri sendiri pandai baca emotion orang.
21. tak suka kena tinggal sensorang.
22. suka tolong orang.
23. selalu rasa dipergunakan oleh orang.
24. merungut tapi still tolong orang.
25. suka melaser orang.
26. kadang2 tak berniat nak sakitkan hati orang tapi tatau camne nak explain kenapa still cakap benda yang sakitkan ati orang.
27. kadang2 terlalu berterus terang.
28. kadang2 terlalu pendamkan benda yang patut dicakap.
29. people view me as joker.
30. orang susah anggap aku ni serius.
31. kadang2 aku nangis tanpa sebab.
    
32. kadang2 aku depress tanpa sebab.
33. suka kenang benda2 lama. lepas tu hati terluka dan marah2. lepas tu depress.
    
34. average food hardly pleased me. i'm picky.
35. sikap yang terlalu berterus terang buat orang tensen dan kecik ati.
36. bila sedih, terasa ingin dipeluk. rasa nak ada orang cakap yang bila sedih tu ok.
37. kadang2 jadik sangat emotional.
38. kadang2 jadik sangat tak berperasaan.
39. buat benda ikut kepala sendiri. jarang pikir psl orang lain.
40. degil amat.
    
41. suka wat lawak pervert. suka wat lawak.
42. dia tak suka terlalu dijaga.
    
43. dia rasa dia pandai jaga diri sendiri.
44. tak suka orang yang over protective.
45. x suka orang yang suka bebel.
46. even dia sendiri suka bebel.
47. once pernah ada masalah anger management.
48. always ada masalah self esteem.
49. he feel he's only talk when needed.
50. easily made friend.
51. easily felt in love.
52. hardly get grip on it.
53. self-centered.
54. his family and friends come first.
55. now they need to compete with his work.
56. tinggi? 170 or 173. not sure.
57. berat? i'm chubby. nuff said.
58. he love foods but he's picky.
59. he love sambal ikan bilis.
60. his thought might surprised others.
    
61. sometimes his idea too radical.
62. he love small close space that can make him comfortable.
63. he love to have his own space.
64. he knows people but people dunno him.
65. he once addicted to forumming.
66. still addicted to blogging.
67. addicted to jdorama.
68. love to spend time with his pc.
69. internet make him happy.
70. his mind scattered. so does his writing.
71. he easily lost focus.
72. hate to go in depth too much.
73. sometimes he feel he's so hard to pleased.
74. once a revengeful person.
75. sometimes people accuse him as liar.
    
76. cause he's easily change his mind.
77. have very little trust in human being who hardly he knew.
78. very little friend who really can talk to him bout anything.
79. always feeling hopeless.
80. he think he need to be much thinner.
81. to argue was once his area.
82. he's fragile when it comes to emotion.
83. he's too complicated for most people.
84. he's a mild liverpool fan.
85. he once a MU fan.
86. he never like chelsea or arsenal anyway.
87. her ideal girl: a bit chubby girl with fair skin wearing long sleeve white shirt, jeans, sneakers and tudung.
    
88. he love to see women in light blue attire (he get caught off his guard when he watching aiswarya rai in her light blue saree).
89. he promise to himself that he's never wear pink and yellow.
90. he love his mom yet he always get into trouble with her.
91. when first time you see him, he's look too cold and faraway but when you get closer, you know he's a nice person but guarded bout himself.
    
92. he listen to his mp3 so that he can avoid talking with people.
93. he have lots of good ideas but he hardly put them in writing.
94. he love reading wikipedia.org while he's on spare time or browsing through d-addicts.com.
95. he love rock music in general but his favorite band must be the corrs and linkin park.

he got nothing to write. he stop it here. :P

i want to pass this tag invitation to: rikku, narulle, EE, mekot, raja, ain, chunna, and people who read this entry. miahahaha. tulis2. kering idea dah nak tulis kasi cukup 111.

Johari Vs Nohari

Credit to rearrange a.k.a adek for this thingy. I had learn this in PRS I course in UTP. Nice to know yourself much in depth and view yourself from others. Help me to evaluate myself. TQ.

http://kevan.org/johari?name=vlkscode

The Johari Window

http://kevan.org/nohari?name=vlkscode

The Nohari Window

I don't mind what you choose. so, be frank and show me how you percieve me. Please put some comment on how could i improve myself. I'm a rotten spirit.

Photo Editing

Currently, I been playing around with picture that i have. Just put some words, do some editing and everything seems ok for me. Here i have 2 sample of picture editing that i have done. I'm not a hardcore photo editor, neither a hardcore (not even newbie) of digital photo editing tools and software. My favorite tools for photo editing are:

1) ACDSee
2) Microsoft Paint

Here's some output from what i have done.



The Child In Me

Tools:
1) Microsoft Words with font Square721 BT
2) Microsoft Paint



Lonely.

Tools:
1) Olympus FE-190
2) ACDSee 5.0
3) Microsoft Paint

I want to learn bout photoshop, but seems my PC have some problem when running photoshop. it goes hanged once photoshop loaded. Anyway, The Child In Me's picture is my last desktop wallpaper before i change to Raja's Wing Wallpaper.

and..please ignore any grammartical mistake in The Child In Me's picture. I think the sentence already ok.

Music; My Life

1. What are you listening to right now?
Deep Purple - Soldier of Fortune

2. What song makes you sad?
Sudirman - Warisan

3. What is the most annoying song in the world?
Irwanshah - Pencinta Wanita, AF's student, lagu melayu meleleh, dangdut.

4. Your all time favorite band?
The Corrs, Linkin Park, Sheila On 7, Dewa, Metallica, The Beatles.

5. Your newly discovered band is?
The Cardigans.

6. Best female voice?
Andrea Corr of The Corrs, Natasha Bedingfield, Gwen Stefanie of No Doubt (once upon a time), Nina of The Cardigans.

7. Best male voice?
Ritchie Blackmore of Deep Purple, James Heidfield of Metallica, Awie of Wings, Mael of XPDC, Ali of XPDC.

8. Music type you find yourself listening to most?
none. mostly metal, pop rock, indie, nu age, pop, r&b (read: utada hikaru), jpop , indo rock (read: dewa, SO7, peter pan). mixed playlist. :P

9. What do you listen to, to hype you up?
Metallica - Die Die My Darling. Punk Cover - Leaving on JetPlane. Rise & Shine - The Cardigans. Lovefool - The Cardigans.

10. What do you listen to, to calm down?
Deep Purple - Soldier of Fortune, Nelly Furtado - I'm Like A Bird, Cromok - I Don't Belong Here (love the double paddle drum). Rise & Shine - The Cardigans.

11. Band you find yourself listening to the most right now?
Dewa.

13. Most hated band?
Good Charlotte. Simple Plan. Irwanshah (suck ass). Mawi.

14. Song that makes you think?
Deep Purple - Soldier of Fortune.

15. Artist that you think the world should love as much as you do?
Dewa. Once have genius voice while Danie have ass kicking talent. The Cardigans. They have talent. pretty please like them.

16. Coolest music video?
Linkin Park - Breaking the Habit. Linkin Park - In The End. Carnival - The Cardigans.

17. Music video with the most babe watch?
This I Promise You - N`Sync. Boyband la senang citer.

18. What "do you play/would you play" in the bedroom to spice things up?
play a song to spice up thing? if party, maybe linkin park. hard and rocking.

21. Are you in a band?
nope. not a wise ass in music.

22. Ever dated a musician?
nope.

23. If no, would you consider?
why not?

24. Do you wish yourself that you were a musician?
yurp. i want to beat that drum and play that bass.

25. Best chick band you know of?
Maria (japanese) - all chicks band. if with chicks vocal, No Doubt, Judie & Mary, The Cardigans should taken into consideration.

26. Best guy band you know of?
Metallica, Greenday, Wings, XPDC, Cromok, Pink Floyd.

27. Last song that you heard on the radio/cd...etc...?
Misha Omar's stressful song. dumb ass la that song.

28. What do you think of Classical music?
classical? if need something to divert my mind, surely do. beethoven's fur elise is a must.

29. What do you think of Country music?
nice, catchy. allision kraus, shania twain quite remarkable.

30. What do you think of Death metal?
give it a try. but i think not gonna like it. can't understand a bit what the voc sing.

31. Last BIG band that you saw live?
None. never been to concert.

32. Are you a groupie?
nope.

33. Do you listen to music in foreign languages?
Japanese, English (LOL, still foreign what). JRock: Beck, Move, Judie & Mary, Yui, OST for anime and drama mostly.

36. Funny Concert moment?
NONE. never been to concert.

37. Sad Concert moment?
Refer above.

38. Best local act you can think of?
act? no idea.

39. If you were a musical instrument what would you be?
bass, drum. snare drum perhaps.

40. Do you listen to the radio?
sometimes. to ease my ear, to renew my humor.

41. Do you watch music TV?
yurp. lots of tv during old days. nowadays, not much tv, PC everytime. if ASTRO, AXN, National Geographics, Movies channel, Sports channel.

42. Do you follow the music charts, like the top 40?
during high school. and at home.

43. Have you met any famous musicians?
hopefully someday.

44. Are any of your friends/family etc musicians?
Frenz, yes. family, none.

45. Song that best describes your feelings right now?
Linkin Park - Numb

46. Song that describes your life? ???
Deep Purple - Soldier of Fortune. my life is so much more like thousand coincidence and luck.

47. Do you know the names of all the band members that you listen to?
some yes, some not.

48. Does a musician’s physical attractiveness play a role in the music that you listen to?
dude, what the fuck are you saying? this is not boyband, this is rock. song come first, look come second. but of course, you're rocking when you're headbanging. size doesn't matter.

49. What famous musician do you want to marry?
Christina Aguilera, Gwen Stefanie, Nina of The Cardigans. Slutty, yummy.

50. Favourite movie sound track?
50 First Date - Somewhere Over The Rainbow. Alexandria - Tak Bisakah. The Punisher - Broken.

51. What do your parents listen to?
have no idea. dangdut maybe. hahaha.

52. What are you listening to right NOW?
none. malas nak create havoc pasang lagu kuat2.

53. Do you wear band etc T-shirts?
Pink Floyd - 1994 tours in north america. buy from bundle store.

54. What do you think of people who do?
Coolness.

55. What music sub-culture do you feel like you belong to?
nu age. cool outfit. cool hairstyle. look neat.

56. What song is stuck in your head right now?
OST Remember the Titan that have "hey hey hey hey, na na na, goodbye". please send me this song if you have it. aaaa... "ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no river deep enough" too. original singer please.

57. Do you sing in the shower?
sometimes.

58. If so, what? If not, why not?
to put out some stress of my head.

59. Would you rather marry a musician or be one yourself?
marrying a musician not my aim, maybe be one is much better.

60. What is on your iPod right now?
iPod mini of mine stuffed with mixed playlist. minus dangdut, almost everything in there.

61. How important is your partners taste in music to you?
quite important. need someone with same wavelength. cause i easily get irritated with the song i hate.

62. Hanson moves in next door to you, do you go introduce yourself, or do you arrange to beat them up?
neither one. don't give a damn pun. ahahha.

63. Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll, you dig?
sex after married, drugs when needed (absolutely with the right dosage and under strict control), rock n roll? surely dude.

64. Do you cook to music?
you kidding me rite? of course. no music, no life (credit to tower records).

Rock Rules~!

Virgo Vs Gemini

I come across this things on Yahoo! Astrology. like interesting, hope someone will notice this. not just anyone, but someone.

Gemini & Virgo

When Gemini and Virgo come together in a love affair, it's crucial to the survival of the relationship that they take time to learn about one another's approach to life and love -- and remember that both partners' attitudes are worth understanding! Gemini is symbolized by the Twins; they can see both sides of a story, they tend to vacillate between two courses of action and sometimes they can seem as if they have a split personality! This relationship is greatly strengthened when steady Virgo provides one Twin with a steady emotional anchor while allowing the other Twin to flit about at will. Virgo may be a bit too serious and demanding for Gemini, especially if this occurs early in the relationship before Gemini has fully committed. If Virgo just gives it time, things will smooth out.

Virgo and Gemini's approaches to life are seemingly so different that mutual acceptance can be hard to come by -- especially since Virgo tends to be so critical and exacting. Gemini strains against Virgo's ultra-practical stance in the world, and Virgo tires quickly of Gemini's flighty ways. They do have much to teach one another, however. Virgo can help Gemini to be more involved in life and to see the depth of ideas rather than simply the surface. Gemini can help bring fun and excitement into Virgo's life.

Both Signs are ruled by the Planet Mercury (Communication). Gemini represents the masculine aspect of Mercury, Virgo the feminine (Mercury itself is androgynous). Virgo wants a dependable partner and therefore uses the penchant for clear communication toward forming the perfect relationship. Gemini is more intellectually focused than Virgo but does have a gift in relating to others.

Virgo is an Earth Sign and Gemini is an Air Sign. Virgo is practical, direct and precise. Virgo asks, "How will this help me achieve my goals in life?" while Gemini, who moves through life relying on their mind, doesn't waste time focusing on where they're headed, but rather simply goes where their mind leads. Virgo's fussy, critical nature and Gemini's aloof detachment and capriciousness can cause trouble for both partners. Virgo must understand that Gemini's flirtatious nature does not affect their feelings regarding the relationship, and Gemini must help to foster that understanding through words and deeds.

Virgo and Gemini are both Mutable Signs. Both are quite flexible; both are able to adapt to change at a moment's notice. Both can be somewhat wishy-washy, however, Gemini due to their incessant intellectual ruminations and Virgo due to their penchant for analysis rather than action.

What's the best aspect of the Gemini-Virgo relationship? The security they can give each other -- once Virgo allows Gemini to commit willingly to the relationship. As long as they communicate with each other and use their Mercury powers effectively, theirs will be a gratifying relationship.