Have you ever look at someone face and feel serene?
It's almost like a blood rush to the head, distorting feeling but in pleasant manner. A rude awakening which inviting your inner feeling to dip in and you can't help to be peace with yourself.
And you think you feel something else. Something which make your eyes couldn't let go of watching that someone.
For a moment, you think you find love at first sight. You madly, deeply and crazily in love. You even convinced that that someone will be the one.
But, a disruption erupted (just like the one happened right now). You finally took your eyes of that someone. You flip over new pages of your life, you move one. Life goes on for what it takes, you gone through alot.
And when life couldn't be easy and throwing not only kitchen sink but the whole stove, cabinets and everything, you see that someone face again. Faster than a blink of eyes, your pain gone....a warm feeling seep through your vain. The rush, the distorted feeling came back! You're in heaven. You're at peace with yourself again. Now, even a big monster truck run over you, you'll feel nothing. You're genuinely euphoric!
You feel like holding it longer, but as experience and life thought you, the most beautiful thing is the most fragile thing. You weeping inside, like no other major crybaby ever did. Your selfishness struck a chord with your possessive instinct. NO, I DON'T WANT TO LET GO! PLEASE DON'T!
Then suddenly reality check-in your brain box. That someone face changed! That someone face no longer the face you used to feel serene. Was that delusion? Was I robbed of my sense?
You realize that you want to hold on longer to the feeling, not the face. You want to feel peace with yourself, to get excited over the love at first sight again (delusional...very delusional) and the euphoria!
Love....for once again showered your dry, forsaken heart wonderland! For that an instant of spark change you again. You want to believe that you could feel it again. I could change, I could be loved.
Have you feel like this lately?
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Monday, July 06, 2009
Have Some Decency
Facebook! Where should I start?
Fair enough, most people have a Facebook account or at least heard about Facebook. A social networking which currently upward trend in replacing other social network such as Friendster and MySpace. Facebook is the IN thing that for some social network virgin addicted to it like how I used to addict to bulletin board namely Grapevine. Or how few of my friends addicted to DoTA and Counter Strike which prove fatal to their academic performance and/or love life.
There are nothing wrong with addiction, everyone of us have our own addiction but you need to know where to draw the line. If you're addicted to tobacco, know that you shouldn't push others to inhale the ciggie smoke with you. If you're addicted to liqour, just consume it on your own and don't push it into somebody throat. There are fine line between good and evil; stop flirting with it.
And if you're so happen to addicted to Facebook, its quizes or its games, have some decency to stop updating your page like every 15 minutes. Especially when people know that you're supposed to be working your ass for your salary. I don't mind occasional update especially during lunch hour or after office hour (though it's still not right but it's tolerable to say the least). When I received 30 plus notifications especially from my friends who supposed to work yet have their facebook games updated almost every hour, it's rather rub me the wrong way.
Yes, I know you hate your work or demotivated just to be at work but for some dignity that might still left behind in yourself, stop showing that you're so carefree and didn't care about work. Yes, you hate the job and everybody knows it but enough of that. Do something that worthy your salary the least you could do. Have some decency to show that you're getting paid to work not to facebook every single hour.
Yes, most of the time; I do hate my job. But right now, I mostly feel indifferent. I do it because I getting paid for it and I feel responsible to show where I should land myself at. I don't expect highly of myself to excel but I do enough for people to recognize that I have done something what qualify me to get paid every month end.
If that doesn't work for you, just be reminded that there are eyes watching what you do at Facebook especially with Facebook could update ALL your friends what you're up to. It might get back to you someday if you don't carefully watch what you're doing at Facebook. It might be used against you, someday.
Otherwise, God bless you. :)
Thursday, July 02, 2009
A Letter To 16 Years Old Me
Ideas from Sue and Dils.
=======================================================
Dear Dueng,
This is the year that you should cherish the most, for this is the best year in your high school years. Remember that PMR which you excel in it? Don't get blown away by it, trust me, it's nothing comparable to what you going to endure in future.
You probably nervous to choose between Pure Science or Technical stream, don't be worried. The sign that you're a Pure Science stream student had been given last year. Remember that Kemahiran Hidup class and your plan drawing was messy due to your sweaty hand? This year going to be a year of clarity, you'll get the clear picture of what you want in your life so don't waste the moment. If you feel the urge to do something good academically, it's worth every single impulse decision that you'll made.
Chemistery will be your forte though it's finally crush you in university. Add Math was always the bore of the year, just hanging there. An F is not uncommon, eh? Physics however have some love-hate attraction, the subject was a bore however the teacher is a must dealt with. Don't worry, she will toned down alot next year. Opsss..yes, 2 years under her but trust me, it worth every moment with her. It speaks alot about how people change due to something important to them and take a good lesson on it. Modern Math is a bonus for you since she's really your favorite kind. You dig her attitude but keep your hand to yourself, eh.
You must be feeling rebellious and feel that nobody could understand you. Just keep your mouth shut in front of the family, it helps alot with lessen the friction in your relationship. Well, the relationship definitely improve from past year but yeah, you know the drill during Ramadhan. It's so funny though at the moment, it will annoy you the hell out of you. Just endure it.
Lots of new faces come in and you feel the rush to get know them. Go for it though it would be damn awkward and will create lots of wild gossip. Otherwise, it will affect you for a very long time...even now. Love is your renewed and strengthen forte, though it will not work out that well. You'll have your moment though your shyness keep you from keep it up there. Don't worry, you'll learn the hard way to overcome that though she was brilliant, isn't she? She just too cute for you to resist and you spend your day and night dreaming bout her. Hopeless romantic but yeah, you're just 16 so i guess, it's allowed.
People around you will be mean to you by calling you names. Though you ignore it but deep down inside, you hate them for that. I know how you feel but remember that those people didn't worth it. Someday, you'll meet people who appreciate you and cherish you and respect you as you deserved it. Those people will make you feel comfortable in your own skin and you appreciate them for doing that for you. These people around you, right now, is not worth your value. Let it pass by but remind yourself not to mingle around with these kind of crowd if you have options not to. People who calling you names and treat yourself like some dumb shit wasn't a good crowd to begin with. You mature earlier than them hence why their childishness irritate you the most. Though sometimes you enjoy it (after all, you just a kid; i know you mad at me for saying these words but the fact is, you're still a kid), you hate them the most. You hate the wild gossip, you hate the name calling, you hate how childish they could be and it's suffocate you out of your social life which unrepairable till today.
Anyway, enjoy life as it goes as I trust you to make the right call. You'll have no regret academically but yeah, it's rather weird and challenging year in your social life. Next year, it's going to be a nice ride though the final outcome wasn't the best but you'll thanks yourself for screwing up few things especially that Biology SPM paper. Your impulse decision on academic help you alot next year hence put less stress in you for getting good results. Though, I hope you could put more effort in Add Math, it's not like you're going to listen to me anyway. I also have no regret over how it turns out but yeah, a little more A's would be nice, eh?
Owh....I almost forgot. Enjoy yourself in 3 on 3 basketball tournament, you'll have the hell of your youth there and don't hold back for what you think is right at the moment. It's so candid and hillarous, you need to wait for it. Practice your 2 point shoot, it's worth it.
Lastly, for whatever you think to improve yourself; to benchmark yourself against yourself, you do the right thing. You could only get better than your old self and it's the talking point of most people who succeed in their life. Though, your life wasn't that glittering with success, you'll satisfied with what you have done. You're matured alot for a 16 years old though nobody could see it but it's ok. These crowd didn't worth it except for some people.
Enjoy life, I know you will!
=======================================================
Dear Dueng,
This is the year that you should cherish the most, for this is the best year in your high school years. Remember that PMR which you excel in it? Don't get blown away by it, trust me, it's nothing comparable to what you going to endure in future.
You probably nervous to choose between Pure Science or Technical stream, don't be worried. The sign that you're a Pure Science stream student had been given last year. Remember that Kemahiran Hidup class and your plan drawing was messy due to your sweaty hand? This year going to be a year of clarity, you'll get the clear picture of what you want in your life so don't waste the moment. If you feel the urge to do something good academically, it's worth every single impulse decision that you'll made.
Chemistery will be your forte though it's finally crush you in university. Add Math was always the bore of the year, just hanging there. An F is not uncommon, eh? Physics however have some love-hate attraction, the subject was a bore however the teacher is a must dealt with. Don't worry, she will toned down alot next year. Opsss..yes, 2 years under her but trust me, it worth every moment with her. It speaks alot about how people change due to something important to them and take a good lesson on it. Modern Math is a bonus for you since she's really your favorite kind. You dig her attitude but keep your hand to yourself, eh.
You must be feeling rebellious and feel that nobody could understand you. Just keep your mouth shut in front of the family, it helps alot with lessen the friction in your relationship. Well, the relationship definitely improve from past year but yeah, you know the drill during Ramadhan. It's so funny though at the moment, it will annoy you the hell out of you. Just endure it.
Lots of new faces come in and you feel the rush to get know them. Go for it though it would be damn awkward and will create lots of wild gossip. Otherwise, it will affect you for a very long time...even now. Love is your renewed and strengthen forte, though it will not work out that well. You'll have your moment though your shyness keep you from keep it up there. Don't worry, you'll learn the hard way to overcome that though she was brilliant, isn't she? She just too cute for you to resist and you spend your day and night dreaming bout her. Hopeless romantic but yeah, you're just 16 so i guess, it's allowed.
People around you will be mean to you by calling you names. Though you ignore it but deep down inside, you hate them for that. I know how you feel but remember that those people didn't worth it. Someday, you'll meet people who appreciate you and cherish you and respect you as you deserved it. Those people will make you feel comfortable in your own skin and you appreciate them for doing that for you. These people around you, right now, is not worth your value. Let it pass by but remind yourself not to mingle around with these kind of crowd if you have options not to. People who calling you names and treat yourself like some dumb shit wasn't a good crowd to begin with. You mature earlier than them hence why their childishness irritate you the most. Though sometimes you enjoy it (after all, you just a kid; i know you mad at me for saying these words but the fact is, you're still a kid), you hate them the most. You hate the wild gossip, you hate the name calling, you hate how childish they could be and it's suffocate you out of your social life which unrepairable till today.
Anyway, enjoy life as it goes as I trust you to make the right call. You'll have no regret academically but yeah, it's rather weird and challenging year in your social life. Next year, it's going to be a nice ride though the final outcome wasn't the best but you'll thanks yourself for screwing up few things especially that Biology SPM paper. Your impulse decision on academic help you alot next year hence put less stress in you for getting good results. Though, I hope you could put more effort in Add Math, it's not like you're going to listen to me anyway. I also have no regret over how it turns out but yeah, a little more A's would be nice, eh?
Owh....I almost forgot. Enjoy yourself in 3 on 3 basketball tournament, you'll have the hell of your youth there and don't hold back for what you think is right at the moment. It's so candid and hillarous, you need to wait for it. Practice your 2 point shoot, it's worth it.
Lastly, for whatever you think to improve yourself; to benchmark yourself against yourself, you do the right thing. You could only get better than your old self and it's the talking point of most people who succeed in their life. Though, your life wasn't that glittering with success, you'll satisfied with what you have done. You're matured alot for a 16 years old though nobody could see it but it's ok. These crowd didn't worth it except for some people.
Enjoy life, I know you will!
Perhentian Trip
Off I gone to Perhentian Island last weekend (weekend + Sunday). The conclusion is the trip was damn nice. The place was good, the activities was great (and lots of juicy gossip and questions - gosh, these lots could be a good tabloid reporters), and the companies keep you entertaining, laughing mad like hyenas. I mean it!
All in all, the best trip to date and yeah, it's worth the sun burn, the money, the sweat, the tiredness, the hot blazing sun, the headache after that, the insufficient rest and the everything negative about one could imagine while going back from a vacation.
Thursday night & Friday morning
4 cars moved from KL to Kertih to meet me and Said. Moved from Gombak at 11.25 p.m. and reach Kertih by 2.30 a.m. Make a move to McD Kertih where we have dinfast (dinner + breakfast). Boy, it's so havoc though most of us sleepy.
McD Kertih - Dinfast
Make our move to KT by 3.30 a.m. Friday and reach Stesen Bas KT by 6.00 a.m. Waiting for Unid who boarding bus from Kedah. By 7.00 a.m., we moved to Jeti Kuala Besut. Reaching Jeti Kuala Besut by 8.35 a.m. and our boat rescheduled to 9.30 a.m. The boat finally arrive at 11.30 a.m. due to some circumstances. Everybody was so freaking pissed though the vacation mode revive once the boat moved. It's a super fast boat and we reach Pulau Perhentian Besar in 30 minutes time.
Our chalet during high tide - Mama's Chalet & Restaurant
The water was crystal blue and it was high tide during our arrival. The sight was magnificient and suddenly all hassle, blazing sun and insufficient sleep blown away by sea breeze. Everybody was on their toes, couldn't wait to jump into the sea.
Arrival commemorative picture!
As usual, these lots take lots of pictures. Flashes all around, feel like celebrity. Hahaha. Commemorative arrival picture in front of the chalet and few others self pictures. After check in, some of these lots getting some sleep while others impatiently make a move to the beach. Who could resist those crystal blue water? Count me in!
After some ice breaking session (I would say ice drowning session) and some intimate face-to-face sharing session, we bid goodnight at almost 1 a.m.
Saturday
Started the day with eye bag and some boat leg. Though, the lots couldn't hide their excitement. Snorkelling trip around island was the most awaited activity of all. Couldn't say more except we manage to catch a glimpse of alive, in-the-water sea turtle, sharks and tons of underwater pictures.
The swimming turtle
The best underwater shot!
All in all, the best trip to date and yeah, it's worth the sun burn, the money, the sweat, the tiredness, the hot blazing sun, the headache after that, the insufficient rest and the everything negative about one could imagine while going back from a vacation.
Thursday night & Friday morning
4 cars moved from KL to Kertih to meet me and Said. Moved from Gombak at 11.25 p.m. and reach Kertih by 2.30 a.m. Make a move to McD Kertih where we have dinfast (dinner + breakfast). Boy, it's so havoc though most of us sleepy.
McD Kertih - DinfastMake our move to KT by 3.30 a.m. Friday and reach Stesen Bas KT by 6.00 a.m. Waiting for Unid who boarding bus from Kedah. By 7.00 a.m., we moved to Jeti Kuala Besut. Reaching Jeti Kuala Besut by 8.35 a.m. and our boat rescheduled to 9.30 a.m. The boat finally arrive at 11.30 a.m. due to some circumstances. Everybody was so freaking pissed though the vacation mode revive once the boat moved. It's a super fast boat and we reach Pulau Perhentian Besar in 30 minutes time.
Our chalet during high tide - Mama's Chalet & RestaurantThe water was crystal blue and it was high tide during our arrival. The sight was magnificient and suddenly all hassle, blazing sun and insufficient sleep blown away by sea breeze. Everybody was on their toes, couldn't wait to jump into the sea.
Arrival commemorative picture!As usual, these lots take lots of pictures. Flashes all around, feel like celebrity. Hahaha. Commemorative arrival picture in front of the chalet and few others self pictures. After check in, some of these lots getting some sleep while others impatiently make a move to the beach. Who could resist those crystal blue water? Count me in!
After some ice breaking session (I would say ice drowning session) and some intimate face-to-face sharing session, we bid goodnight at almost 1 a.m.
Saturday
Started the day with eye bag and some boat leg. Though, the lots couldn't hide their excitement. Snorkelling trip around island was the most awaited activity of all. Couldn't say more except we manage to catch a glimpse of alive, in-the-water sea turtle, sharks and tons of underwater pictures.
The swimming turtle
The best underwater shot!After the snorkeling session ended, we catch a bath at fresh water basin which so cold and refreshing given the hot sun. As usual, more pictures. The water was damn cold, you couldn't believe how much different from the hot sea water that we had been for the past few hours.
Fresh water basin!
After that, we went back to chalet. Some of us catching up with the sleep while another bunch going out to nearby beach to experience more snorkeling experience. I take one hour kayaking session halfway trip around the island. When the sunset approaches, we snap few pictures which so typical of a trip like this. Yeah, the silhouette photo. I personally like the shot cause the challenge to put 7 different shapes into 1 frame!
THE TYPICAL TRIP Photo Version 1.0
Nice purplish sky. I couldn't resist from liking it. Another chit chat session at the night and the boys was having fun teasing around the girls, laughing like hyenas and nearly get stomach cramp from excessive laughter.
Sunday
The morning starts with breakfast then THE TYPICAL TRIP Photo Version 2.0. Yes, the jumping photo. I like it too though not everybody in the frame.
Before THE TYPICAL TRIP Photo Version 2.0
THE TYPICAL TRIP Photo Version 2.0
2 cars need to go back as we don't plan to extend the trip to Monday. My car included in those 2 who went back on Sunday.
Arrived at Jeti Kuala Besut at 12.30 noon. Bought lots of goodies before having our lunch in a restaurant nearby beach area, accompanied by sea breeze. I didn't realize that we have another company who are Yusry KRU. The girls giggling around, exciting to realize it.
Lunch + Sea Breeze + Yusry KRU = TOTAL BLISS
Finished up with lunch, we moved to KT to drop Unid at Stesen Bas KT while Ben's car moved straight to KL. Arrived at Kertih by 7.30 p.m.
Participants: Yong (Project Manager), Yoda (Vice Project Manager), Anon, Wear, Zye, Faten, A'a, Syifaak, Unid, Said, Rozie, Adek, Munir, Ben, Gomok & Dueng.
Major thanks to Yong & Yoda for making this trip a successful one and a meaningful one. Thanks to all photographers for the beautiful high quality pictures, underwater pictures, candid pictures, laugh catalyst pictures, beautiful scenery pictures, beautiful ladies pictures. Thanks to all participants who are so friendly and make nobody isolated during the whole trip though sometimes the situation could get out of hand due to extra-frendliness of some boys (:P), to the girls who are sporting enough to layan the boys jokes and the boys to crack lots of joke which make all of us laughing like madmen.
All in all, I love the trip and hope we could have some other trip better or match this! Thanks lots!
Credit images in this entry: Ben & Syifaak.
p/s: More pictures in FB, don't hesitate to browse through. :)
Fresh water basin!After that, we went back to chalet. Some of us catching up with the sleep while another bunch going out to nearby beach to experience more snorkeling experience. I take one hour kayaking session halfway trip around the island. When the sunset approaches, we snap few pictures which so typical of a trip like this. Yeah, the silhouette photo. I personally like the shot cause the challenge to put 7 different shapes into 1 frame!
THE TYPICAL TRIP Photo Version 1.0Nice purplish sky. I couldn't resist from liking it. Another chit chat session at the night and the boys was having fun teasing around the girls, laughing like hyenas and nearly get stomach cramp from excessive laughter.
Sunday
The morning starts with breakfast then THE TYPICAL TRIP Photo Version 2.0. Yes, the jumping photo. I like it too though not everybody in the frame.
Before THE TYPICAL TRIP Photo Version 2.0
THE TYPICAL TRIP Photo Version 2.02 cars need to go back as we don't plan to extend the trip to Monday. My car included in those 2 who went back on Sunday.
Arrived at Jeti Kuala Besut at 12.30 noon. Bought lots of goodies before having our lunch in a restaurant nearby beach area, accompanied by sea breeze. I didn't realize that we have another company who are Yusry KRU. The girls giggling around, exciting to realize it.
Lunch + Sea Breeze + Yusry KRU = TOTAL BLISSFinished up with lunch, we moved to KT to drop Unid at Stesen Bas KT while Ben's car moved straight to KL. Arrived at Kertih by 7.30 p.m.
Participants: Yong (Project Manager), Yoda (Vice Project Manager), Anon, Wear, Zye, Faten, A'a, Syifaak, Unid, Said, Rozie, Adek, Munir, Ben, Gomok & Dueng.
Major thanks to Yong & Yoda for making this trip a successful one and a meaningful one. Thanks to all photographers for the beautiful high quality pictures, underwater pictures, candid pictures, laugh catalyst pictures, beautiful scenery pictures, beautiful ladies pictures. Thanks to all participants who are so friendly and make nobody isolated during the whole trip though sometimes the situation could get out of hand due to extra-frendliness of some boys (:P), to the girls who are sporting enough to layan the boys jokes and the boys to crack lots of joke which make all of us laughing like madmen.
All in all, I love the trip and hope we could have some other trip better or match this! Thanks lots!
Credit images in this entry: Ben & Syifaak.
p/s: More pictures in FB, don't hesitate to browse through. :)
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