assalamualaikum....
ah...dah nak abis dah tahun ni, tak sangka sungguh. tahun ni boleh dibahagikan pada dua bahagian, kedua2 nya membawa warna baru dalam kanvas hidup aku ni.
Bahagian Pertama:
Semester pertama, January 2005 - Julai 2005.
Mostly berkisar psl internship, perkara yang aku sgt syukuri kerna pernah jadi dalam hidup aku. For some reason, eventhough kekadang rasa cam hell, aku sgt hargai masa internship. masa dimana muka sebenar kengkawan aku kelihatan. siapa yang betul2 baik, siapa yang bermuka2. selebihnya tak perlu la aku lanjutkan, cukuplah hanya mereka yang tahu sahaja menyimpan hakikat bahawa dunia ni tak seindah yang disangka.
tetapi, masih ada yang sayang, masih ada yang mahu ambil tahu. aku syukur utk itu. gelak tawa bersama kengkawan, shopping madness, food madness, dan memacam lagi. sekejap sungguh 8 bulan internship, everything seems flowing fast, and without i realize it, hold it, really enjoy it, it's already finish. masa ni byk mengubah aku, tanggapan aku tentang hidup, tentang bagaimana harus aku jalankan hidup tanpa arah ini.
Bahagian Kedua:
Semester kedua, July 2005 - December 2005.
sungguhpun kembali ke dunia bebas tanpa batasan, aku sendiri membataskan diri aku sendiri untuk berubah. Alhamdullilah, aku mengharapkan perubahan yang terjadi, membuahkan hasil yang lumayan.
Berkenalan dgn #gurly, byk sungguh kenangan. kalau mahu diceritakan semua, habis satu blog pun tak habis jgk. terlalu byk kenangan, aku jadi sebak bila kenangkan balik yang semua ni terjadi pada diri aku. sungguh bertuah aku rasakan, rupanya masih ada manusia sebaik mereka2 ini. dalam kenangan semua itu, dan kenangan takkan pernah dapat aku lupakan. manis, pahit, kelat, masam semua ada.
diakhir2, aku berjumpa dgn perkara baru, teman baru, mungkinkah cinta baru? entahlah....mungkin bukan masanya lagi. kekadang, aku mengeluh sendiri, apalah malang sgt nasib diri ni. tp bila kenangkan balik, aku seolah2 mengeluhkan ketentuan-Nya. tak patut sama sekali bagi seorang hamba utk mengeluh ketentuan pencipta-Nya. tapi apalah dayaku, aku hanya seorang manusia yang penuh cacat cela.
Tahun 2006:
mengharapkan byk perkara berubah kearah kebaikan. dan juga, mungkinkah tahun ini menjanjikan kenangan yang lebih manis? aku hanya harapkan:
-> aku grad dgn cemerlang (3.0 and above)
-> dan juga dapat kerja cepat2.
-> nak stay jadik mod kat WebKL.net,
-> nak guna streamyx (nak download anime, series, dgn japan drama),
-> nak bayar balik duit PETRONAS,
-> nak ambik lesen motor dgn kereta,
-> nak ada awek (aiseh....mesti masuk list jgk ke?)
itu jer lah kot...aku rasa tak byk tp harap dapat accomplishkan semua. semoga berjaya wahai diri.
footnote: selamat datang tahun baru 2006, aku menunggu mu dgn penuh sabar. apa khabar untung nasib diriku tahun depan?
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Cromok - I Don't Belong Here
assalamualaikum.....
tonight, i listening to my winamp and i came across one instrumental song by Cromok, one marvellous underground local metal band. This song in basic contain 2 guitars, bass and drum. i dunno with this song but person who wrote this song must be a genius.
As the titled stated, i don't belong here...the music give me much impact. the sadness, the last goodbye is well expressed in this song. maybe it's my feeling but this song is a genius creation. what a song that can moved someone heart, and what make this song really something is it's come without lyrics. with only music, it's superb.
the feeling of left behind, seeing people that you loved going leaving you give one hell of feeling. in vain, hurting, devastation, deeply hurt, being stabbed, nothing seems right. and yes, i really understand that and this eyes, have been crying out tears for thousand of times and seems the cut never been healed.
sitting alone in my room, listening to my winamp, looking at mirc windows which have less than 100 people in there, and watching my favorite channel not moving with anything really make the feeling worst. it's a total lonely. and yet i keep listening to the cromok's song even though the song keep make me hurting but in some way, i feel relieved. maybe this is Allah's will, HE want to test me for the reason that i dunno.
if this is what HE wants me to be, so be it. maybe, i been born to be like this, feeling lonely all my life, so lonely. I cannpt blame HIM for this, maybe it's just me, maybe ah....i also dunno. for some reason, the song keep playing in my winamp, and everytime it's playing, i feel relieved yet in vain....
footnote: lonely, i feel lonely....so lonely. ah...it's just a feeling. cheers up...stop crying for something so simple. we're born alone, die alone, in nature, human being really suit to be alone.
tonight, i listening to my winamp and i came across one instrumental song by Cromok, one marvellous underground local metal band. This song in basic contain 2 guitars, bass and drum. i dunno with this song but person who wrote this song must be a genius.
As the titled stated, i don't belong here...the music give me much impact. the sadness, the last goodbye is well expressed in this song. maybe it's my feeling but this song is a genius creation. what a song that can moved someone heart, and what make this song really something is it's come without lyrics. with only music, it's superb.
the feeling of left behind, seeing people that you loved going leaving you give one hell of feeling. in vain, hurting, devastation, deeply hurt, being stabbed, nothing seems right. and yes, i really understand that and this eyes, have been crying out tears for thousand of times and seems the cut never been healed.
sitting alone in my room, listening to my winamp, looking at mirc windows which have less than 100 people in there, and watching my favorite channel not moving with anything really make the feeling worst. it's a total lonely. and yet i keep listening to the cromok's song even though the song keep make me hurting but in some way, i feel relieved. maybe this is Allah's will, HE want to test me for the reason that i dunno.
if this is what HE wants me to be, so be it. maybe, i been born to be like this, feeling lonely all my life, so lonely. I cannpt blame HIM for this, maybe it's just me, maybe ah....i also dunno. for some reason, the song keep playing in my winamp, and everytime it's playing, i feel relieved yet in vain....
footnote: lonely, i feel lonely....so lonely. ah...it's just a feeling. cheers up...stop crying for something so simple. we're born alone, die alone, in nature, human being really suit to be alone.
Friday, December 23, 2005
My mp3
Assalamualaikum.....
argh...buhsannya duduk tanpa buat kerja ni, terasa bosan bagai nak mati. anyway, in this entry aku terasa nak tulis sikit psl music or lebih specific, my mp3 collection. hrm..apa yang special sgt dgn my 21 GB mp3 collection tu?
Entahlah...tp music really help me get into my own world. music help me reflect myself, rasa sedih, memotivasikan diri sendiri, merenungi kesalahan dan dosa selama ni, cinta, luka lama yang berbekas dihati utk selamanya, memori bersama kengkawan dan byk lagi. music is a really powerful tool that help me to build my sensitivity and emotion.
currently, listening to various kind of songs, ada hip hop, rocks, classic, pop, pop rock, OI, classic malay rock song. want to see my playlist recently? here...enjoy~~
argh...buhsannya duduk tanpa buat kerja ni, terasa bosan bagai nak mati. anyway, in this entry aku terasa nak tulis sikit psl music or lebih specific, my mp3 collection. hrm..apa yang special sgt dgn my 21 GB mp3 collection tu?
Entahlah...tp music really help me get into my own world. music help me reflect myself, rasa sedih, memotivasikan diri sendiri, merenungi kesalahan dan dosa selama ni, cinta, luka lama yang berbekas dihati utk selamanya, memori bersama kengkawan dan byk lagi. music is a really powerful tool that help me to build my sensitivity and emotion.
currently, listening to various kind of songs, ada hip hop, rocks, classic, pop, pop rock, OI, classic malay rock song. want to see my playlist recently? here...enjoy~~
tak byk lagu sgt tp almost a month this playlist being played and really make me happy for some reason that i never know. maybe some songs just give the right touch with my current mood and some just helping me calm myself down.
Lately, baru lepas gaduh dgn someone. Benci sungguh gaduh dgn dia. bukan benda besar bagi sesetengah orang but for me, she's really tempting my patience. dah cakap elok2, tp kalau dah dasar keras kepala, what can i say. at last, after tired of giving my hujah, i give up. WHATEVER~~~...
eh..melalut plak, back to topic. maybe this playlist stay as my favorite playlist for next month. kalau ada pun, tambah few lagu jer lagi. rindu pada my mixed songs yang ada macam2 lagu tu...dalam tu almost every genre ada. rock, punk, pop, r&b, ballad, country...you name it. tp bukan semua, just almost everything is there. i'm lucky to be here, at UTP where's the network never sleeps and ppl are very generous to share their mp3 collection (yeah..i know it, it's abuse the copyright but who can afford to buy album that may disappointed you). i love UTP for that. hahaha....
okies, want to add some more songs to my winamp
Lately, baru lepas gaduh dgn someone. Benci sungguh gaduh dgn dia. bukan benda besar bagi sesetengah orang but for me, she's really tempting my patience. dah cakap elok2, tp kalau dah dasar keras kepala, what can i say. at last, after tired of giving my hujah, i give up. WHATEVER~~~...
eh..melalut plak, back to topic. maybe this playlist stay as my favorite playlist for next month. kalau ada pun, tambah few lagu jer lagi. rindu pada my mixed songs yang ada macam2 lagu tu...dalam tu almost every genre ada. rock, punk, pop, r&b, ballad, country...you name it. tp bukan semua, just almost everything is there. i'm lucky to be here, at UTP where's the network never sleeps and ppl are very generous to share their mp3 collection (yeah..i know it, it's abuse the copyright but who can afford to buy album that may disappointed you). i love UTP for that. hahaha....
okies, want to add some more songs to my winamp
Sunday, December 11, 2005
New Obsession
Assalamualaikum and hello all....
haih..mengeluh lagi. malas nyer time cuti ni. anyway, ada new obsession, kali ni new forum with tons of frenzly ppl and chikas. hahaha. don't drooling your eyes ek...normal la laki suka chikas. nothing much la ppl, just teman berforum jer.
ya ya..ada jer nak kenakan aku. come on..i'm not the shy old dueng you know. ece...poyo plak statement tu but the reality is here. i change a bit and most ppl around me notice that. i say it's a good change cause ppl hardly change for good. am i rite?
anyway, the new forum just a bit not strict like Grapevine so, spamming is quite acceptable there but me is me. nothing can change cause i just love post long post and ppl get irritated by that. am i too resourceful? i don't think so. Just giving some of my thought and justify my opinion. Always ppl jump to wrong conclusion if you not providing them with explaination and the most tricky part is SOME PPL JUST CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO EXPLAIN. i dunno...maybe my lame english or maybe my choice of words but only some 'selected' ppl always not understand or are they just keep ignoring my opinion? interesting huh...
Grapevine officially closed today by Mr D'Addario and the successor still unclear. just hoping can be a moderator for grapevine. hahaha. if got staff title much better. Grapevine still the best where flaming is allowed as long with facts and strong example. that's the beauty of grapevine is ppl asking me and yes....no stupid oneliner a.k.a spam. i just hate spam and spammer should be banned for making stupid oneline sentence or maybe much but contain nothing.
be wise la ppl, have your mind working a bit and throw some deep shit there. stop playing around, you;re already an adult...be a responsible adults and stop being a child especially on serious matter. life ain;t easy and learn from now. maybe some ppl not liking me cause of my looks or words. it's ok...it's your choice but please see my opinion and not me so that something may hooking up your mind to think a bit.
huhu~~...melalut sudah. anyway, foruming is good for developing critical thinking and working your mind. exercise for mind and shaping up your character. also, read lots of books on heavy topics or just use encylopedia either online or traiditonal one. we're hungary for knowledge and maturity.
/me off from keyboard now
footnote: being different doesn't mean you have to kill each other. we can work it out by find ing similirity among us.
haih..mengeluh lagi. malas nyer time cuti ni. anyway, ada new obsession, kali ni new forum with tons of frenzly ppl and chikas. hahaha. don't drooling your eyes ek...normal la laki suka chikas. nothing much la ppl, just teman berforum jer.
ya ya..ada jer nak kenakan aku. come on..i'm not the shy old dueng you know. ece...poyo plak statement tu but the reality is here. i change a bit and most ppl around me notice that. i say it's a good change cause ppl hardly change for good. am i rite?
anyway, the new forum just a bit not strict like Grapevine so, spamming is quite acceptable there but me is me. nothing can change cause i just love post long post and ppl get irritated by that. am i too resourceful? i don't think so. Just giving some of my thought and justify my opinion. Always ppl jump to wrong conclusion if you not providing them with explaination and the most tricky part is SOME PPL JUST CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO EXPLAIN. i dunno...maybe my lame english or maybe my choice of words but only some 'selected' ppl always not understand or are they just keep ignoring my opinion? interesting huh...
Grapevine officially closed today by Mr D'Addario and the successor still unclear. just hoping can be a moderator for grapevine. hahaha. if got staff title much better. Grapevine still the best where flaming is allowed as long with facts and strong example. that's the beauty of grapevine is ppl asking me and yes....no stupid oneliner a.k.a spam. i just hate spam and spammer should be banned for making stupid oneline sentence or maybe much but contain nothing.
be wise la ppl, have your mind working a bit and throw some deep shit there. stop playing around, you;re already an adult...be a responsible adults and stop being a child especially on serious matter. life ain;t easy and learn from now. maybe some ppl not liking me cause of my looks or words. it's ok...it's your choice but please see my opinion and not me so that something may hooking up your mind to think a bit.
huhu~~...melalut sudah. anyway, foruming is good for developing critical thinking and working your mind. exercise for mind and shaping up your character. also, read lots of books on heavy topics or just use encylopedia either online or traiditonal one. we're hungary for knowledge and maturity.
/me off from keyboard now
footnote: being different doesn't mean you have to kill each other. we can work it out by find ing similirity among us.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Holiday with FYP
hello there,
berjumpa lagi. kali ni, psl FYP. aiseh..FYP lagi. this holiday, aku tidak balik bercuti. ya ya..jgn tanya mak ko tak marah ke, tak rindu kat parent ke, sebab dah cakap dah kat parent aku psl aku nak stay and they ok with this. kena nag dgn my sis bertan2, including few frenz yang concern psl aku tak balik ni. i know that...thanks for being so concern but i need this moment to learn from scracth all the coding thingy.
few days ago, ada aku amk gambar sunset, kind of best jgk sebab sunset mmg lawa. eventhough kamera digital aku cam tut tut tut sikit bila gegar tp kalau tak gegar, output dia mmg superbs. hahaha...bangga diri la plak. anyway, aku berhasrat nak post sikit gambor-gambor tu. lapang hati aku tgk alam yang indah permai ni, sungguh mendamaikan. hilang runsing dalam pala, otak rasa rileks. okies guys, enjoy the pictures.
Mirror Reflection of My Room
Parking and Wood After Heavy Rain
Rain, Mirror and Parking
Smoky Sky
Lovely Sunset
AKu amatur jer, guna kamera pun murah jer tp rasa cam best sebab dapat capture gambar yang cun camni. gambar ni diambil 5 December 2005, time tu dah petang, baru lepas hujan. Pasal tu tingkap tu ada titisan air hujan dan parking area tu penuh air. Anyway, benda kecik2 camni buat aku rasa tenang dan release sikit tension. okies guys, nanti sambung lagi citer psl kehidupan aku.
/me off from keyboard
footnote: sunset give me a comfort and secure feeling that take away all my worries. When was the last time you enjoy sunset? aren't we too busy for enjoying our life?
berjumpa lagi. kali ni, psl FYP. aiseh..FYP lagi. this holiday, aku tidak balik bercuti. ya ya..jgn tanya mak ko tak marah ke, tak rindu kat parent ke, sebab dah cakap dah kat parent aku psl aku nak stay and they ok with this. kena nag dgn my sis bertan2, including few frenz yang concern psl aku tak balik ni. i know that...thanks for being so concern but i need this moment to learn from scracth all the coding thingy.
few days ago, ada aku amk gambar sunset, kind of best jgk sebab sunset mmg lawa. eventhough kamera digital aku cam tut tut tut sikit bila gegar tp kalau tak gegar, output dia mmg superbs. hahaha...bangga diri la plak. anyway, aku berhasrat nak post sikit gambor-gambor tu. lapang hati aku tgk alam yang indah permai ni, sungguh mendamaikan. hilang runsing dalam pala, otak rasa rileks. okies guys, enjoy the pictures.
Mirror Reflection of My Room
Parking and Wood After Heavy Rain
Rain, Mirror and Parking
Smoky Sky
Lovely Sunset
AKu amatur jer, guna kamera pun murah jer tp rasa cam best sebab dapat capture gambar yang cun camni. gambar ni diambil 5 December 2005, time tu dah petang, baru lepas hujan. Pasal tu tingkap tu ada titisan air hujan dan parking area tu penuh air. Anyway, benda kecik2 camni buat aku rasa tenang dan release sikit tension. okies guys, nanti sambung lagi citer psl kehidupan aku.
/me off from keyboard
footnote: sunset give me a comfort and secure feeling that take away all my worries. When was the last time you enjoy sunset? aren't we too busy for enjoying our life?
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