Words: Do I Really Mean It?

WORDS. People said that i'm quite "wordy". Even got the same comments from my english & BM teacher last time. When i could put things in simple words, i choose not. I choose those BIG WORDS which make the sentence complicated. Even so, i'm way far from being poetic, i'm being dramatic instead.

WORDS lead me to problems. Often, i had been receiving comments. WORDS are all i have. WORDS are characters without meaning. WORDS that i use to deceive others, being a total jerk. Some even question, did i really mean everything i said? Did i really mean everything i write?

Truth is, i also don't know whether i truly mean it. I bet few people reading this must be pissed off. As i wrote things or utter things, i truly mean it. It's unbelievable, isn't it?

But as time change, the feeling change. Even in smallest scale of things, i easily compensate to my feeling. That's my weakness.

It's hard to keep my interest as i always seeking for new excitement. I hardly settle down (read: my feeling). I love emotion roller coaster though i hate being shouted at. Sometimes i want to talk serious things, sometimes i just let the child in me mess the talk.

I'm not lying, just my feeling change. How could i stop that? I try to stay rational which make me stiff. It bored me to death. When i'm being rational, i will be cruel and annoyingly sarcastic.

I wonder why i write this. People who know me don't need my explanation, for those who don't know me won't listen to this.

Think that you know me? Heck, even i don't know myself.