Arguement for fun

I been busy lately. With lots of thing really. Work is ok, if you're wondering about it since i always rant about how stressful work could be.

I found a newly discovered bad trait in me. I love to argue for fun up to a time, it's no longer a fun neither for me nor for others. With family (read: mom), it could be disastrous. When i said disastrous, it means just that. You just couldn't win with mom and even if you're or you were, it's not going to be a victory really. It's painful and severe the relationship more than you could think of. and to think that to happen over some trivial argument, you wish you could just shut up.

I been arguing with someone lately and it proves to be an inferno for me. ended up, i would wound myself and i would wound her. and guilty! i hate that. i hate feeling guilty. it keep coming to you but you just couldn't shake it off unless it's the end of the relationship.

and in some way, it changes how things transpire between you and me. i wish i could go back in time and stop myself for saying things. you could call it life lesson, to let me grow and understand more about people.

yeah, i sucked the most at understanding human heart. not that i couldn't but it's more like a dish i not prefer so i choose not to indulge it. over time, you just forget how the taste of it. to unlearn and learn it once again, ego come into picture. the voice echoes "hey, i know this...why should i learn again about it?".

for you who teach me all along, thank you for your patience. i still learning so keep your patience level there. make me feel humane again.

it had been a bumpy but great ride with you. and i'm sorry for that i always hurt you.